podcast
Mon, Feb 23, 2009

25 Things about the Facebook list

I’m really tired of those goddamn lists that you have to read like they’ll say something important- but they wont. so i made my own. its probably still under construction but here is a general list-
no_fb
25 things about the Anti FB list List
  1. whoever started these list things on facebook has officially done the nerdiest thing ever for several reasons.
  2. one of those reasons- internet peoplez, esp nerds(those guys your going to be working for in 2 years) love lists- be they linked, binary tree, or in a cold and frigid array.
  3. two- people that post these things about themselves apparently believe that other people care what they have to say- best Rick-roll ever
  4. three- they’ve fed the idea that everyone on FB likes to troll through lists like its fmylife.com
  5. now that that list within a list is done- we can get down to business
  6. High school is for bitches- going back anywhere sucks
  7. saying redundant and boring things is like taking a picture where everyone stands and smiles- NO ONE CARES
  8. if you’re going to make a list make it funny, interesting, or a seriously awesome fml moment
  9. please don’t say your likes and dislikes unless this is a list to your boyfriend so he knows what to get you for valentines day- which leads to number 10
  10. valentines day sucks- just so everyone knows- but for everyone whos not single- see my other rant for more info
  11. what you and your family do to you is your business- so pretty much everyone else probably doesn’t care- just so you know
  12. saying what you are glad for is cool- not going to lie- thankfulness is never bad
  13. in addition to that- places you’ve been, things you’ve done- unless they are out of the country or can make it to the front page of digg- should be scrutinized religiously
  14. saying what you love, is also acceptable- but don’t front like you’ve been there forever and a day- chargers and lakers fans know exactly what I mean
  15. favorite foods, and places- again, unless awkward, shouldn’t be mentioned. Come on, you’re competing on the place where the phrase “two girls, 1 cup” means far more than sharing a drink- keep that in mind
  16. views- religious, political, and otherwise should be kept in context- hating is never a bad thing when its polite and funny and always involves a positive view of Obama
  17. being discreet, sneaky, and otherwise general and broad in a comment is played out
  18. back on 17- either tell us exactly what happened or don’t mention it- you wanna be mysterious lothario
  19. saying one secret in a list means it isn’t really a secret
  20. secrets, just so everyone knows, are stuff you can only tell your BFF (that is, if you have a BFF, and if so- how is middle school?)
  21. and thus, secrets belong on postsecert.blogspot.com
  22. or fmylife.com if theyre really funny
  23. btw- people that use the series of periods not to create a pause but to separate a sentence… need to get shot
  24. it seems like the only people that dont make lists (the hot ones and ones you like) don’t make lists. thats probably for a reason EVERYBODY ELSE
  25. if you read this far, or that far on anyones list, you should probably get a job and get off of FB, slacker :P.

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3 Responses to “25 Things about the Facebook list”

  1. Julien says:

    Good website…mylifeiscrap.com actually was the unofficial english version until, FML was lunched a couple of month later. Viedemerde.fr is the original website…

  2. Ben says:

    On my facebook profile, in the top-most box of self-referential “stuff”, I admit only to “overuses ellipses…”.

    In a moment of revelation, a programmer friend on mine (a really rather good programmer, with a wide circle of friends and interests, a long and successful CV and a fascinating, complex and by many measures disastrously f*cked family life) stared hard at me over his pint glass and said: “Life is loosely typed”.

    The pauses between the words are… precious. Before everything, before even intention – is the breath.

    Ellipses are a way of implying that time is taken, care is given, reflection occurs. If you don’t like them that much, it might be worth considering whether http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Asperger_syndrome is playing too great a part in your life. Aspergers’ effects can be mediated, with help.

    KidJoke:
    Q: How do you keep an idiot in suspense?
    A: I’ll tell you next week.

    Patience is indicated.

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