I’m really tired of those goddamn lists that you have to read like they’ll say something important- but they wont. so i made my own. its probably still under construction but here is a general list-
25 things about the Anti FB list List
- whoever started these list things on facebook has officially done the nerdiest thing ever for several reasons.
- one of those reasons- internet peoplez, esp nerds(those guys your going to be working for in 2 years) love lists- be they linked, binary tree, or in a cold and frigid array.
- two- people that post these things about themselves apparently believe that other people care what they have to say- best Rick-roll ever
- three- they’ve fed the idea that everyone on FB likes to troll through lists like its fmylife.com
- now that that list within a list is done- we can get down to business
- High school is for bitches- going back anywhere sucks
- saying redundant and boring things is like taking a picture where everyone stands and smiles- NO ONE CARES
- if you’re going to make a list make it funny, interesting, or a seriously awesome fml moment
- please don’t say your likes and dislikes unless this is a list to your boyfriend so he knows what to get you for valentines day- which leads to number 10
- valentines day sucks- just so everyone knows- but for everyone whos not single- see my other rant for more info
- what you and your family do to you is your business- so pretty much everyone else probably doesn’t care- just so you know
- saying what you are glad for is cool- not going to lie- thankfulness is never bad
- in addition to that- places you’ve been, things you’ve done- unless they are out of the country or can make it to the front page of digg- should be scrutinized religiously
- saying what you love, is also acceptable- but don’t front like you’ve been there forever and a day- chargers and lakers fans know exactly what I mean
- favorite foods, and places- again, unless awkward, shouldn’t be mentioned. Come on, you’re competing on the place where the phrase “two girls, 1 cup” means far more than sharing a drink- keep that in mind
- views- religious, political, and otherwise should be kept in context- hating is never a bad thing when its polite and funny and always involves a positive view of Obama
- being discreet, sneaky, and otherwise general and broad in a comment is played out
- back on 17- either tell us exactly what happened or don’t mention it- you wanna be mysterious lothario
- saying one secret in a list means it isn’t really a secret
- secrets, just so everyone knows, are stuff you can only tell your BFF (that is, if you have a BFF, and if so- how is middle school?)
- and thus, secrets belong on postsecert.blogspot.com
- or fmylife.com if theyre really funny
- btw- people that use the series of periods not to create a pause but to separate a sentence… need to get shot
- it seems like the only people that dont make lists (the hot ones and ones you like) don’t make lists. thats probably for a reason EVERYBODY ELSE
- if you read this far, or that far on anyones list, you should probably get a job and get off of FB, slacker :P.
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…Ellipsis
Good website…mylifeiscrap.com actually was the unofficial english version until, FML was lunched a couple of month later. Viedemerde.fr is the original website…
On my facebook profile, in the top-most box of self-referential “stuff”, I admit only to “overuses ellipses…”.
In a moment of revelation, a programmer friend on mine (a really rather good programmer, with a wide circle of friends and interests, a long and successful CV and a fascinating, complex and by many measures disastrously f*cked family life) stared hard at me over his pint glass and said: “Life is loosely typed”.
The pauses between the words are… precious. Before everything, before even intention – is the breath.
Ellipses are a way of implying that time is taken, care is given, reflection occurs. If you don’t like them that much, it might be worth considering whether http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Asperger_syndrome is playing too great a part in your life. Aspergers’ effects can be mediated, with help.
KidJoke:
Q: How do you keep an idiot in suspense?
A: I’ll tell you next week.
Patience is indicated.