Esquire gives us the closest chance to waking up next to Transformers hottie, Megan Fox. It’s everything we’ve ever wanted in a woman: she’s wiggling her nearly-naked body around in the bedsheets, wrapping her lips around some beers, and gobbling up a fat piece of meat – I mean, a hamburger.

With the lack of dialogue and focus on her different (ahem) assets, it’s easily her best role ever. While we forgive Megan for sucking as an actress, this sexy photo shoot video eagerly begs the question: does she suck at other things?