I was going to write about this on my own blog but I figured everyone especially geeks should know this stuff.

I’m sure there are a lot of you geeks that go on CNN, MSNBC, Pixelategeek.com for your news or whatever. That’s great, I’m proud of you. I personally get a news paper dropped off at my front door every morning. If it’s in there it’s important. There’s even great articles in there that are NOT so important but were good enough to PRINT.

I like news papers, they’ve been around since the 1500’s. Way before the Internet was even thought of. Even when they’re old you can use them for other things like packing material, cleaning glass to a streak free finish, lighting the BBQ grill or whatever. So why do you want to take that away from me?

A lot of people always say “Don’t buy the news paper, it’s such a waste.” You know what I have to say? PISS OFF! The news paper should stay here forever. The news paper is more social than your internet. The news paper is tangible, you pick it up and turn the pages.

Do you ever turn to someone at Starbucks and say “Hey can I see your laptop when you’re done?” No, do you know why? Because if someone asked you, you’d look at them all kinds of crazy.  Now if you turn to someone and say “Hey can I see that paper when you’re done” most likely you’ll get a “no problem.” Sometimes you’ll get a “Check out the _______  section” or something.  Social networking? I think so.

So leave my news paper the fuck alone. Whoever stole my Sunday paper, if I catch you there’s a ball-peen hammer waiting for your hands here. Oh, and if you want something to complain about wasting, let’s talk about individually sliced cheese.

Who the fuck came up with individually sliced cheese? What kind of profligate wasting bastard came up with that? Arnold N. Nawrocki that’s who. He’s dead now, god rest his soul, but come on. Seriously? Do we really need individually wrapped slices of cheese? No, it’s there for people that are either lazy to pull apart sliced cheese or are planning on storing their sliced cheese for months at a time. WHO DOES THAT? These people probably do…

Do you want to be like any of these assholes? DO YOU?! Stop buying that shit!

Buying sliced cheese is fine but each slice doesn’t need a cheese condom. Also in closing News Paper > Individually sliced cheese.

Tags: Cheese, News Paper