You can't fail the final, NOT TODAY!

Let’s say that your best friend/family member/etc and you are fighting against the most evil villian the world has ever seen. The world’s, better yet, the universe’s fate rests in this final battle. And you feel like you have nothing left. You’ve been beaten the hell out of and your friend/family member/etc is lying motionless at the feet of your nemesis. There is only one thing to do: POWER UP! Now remember all of that, and apply it to your Physics final exam and you. Ladies and Gentlemen, this is Anime IRL.

Now let’s take that anime-inspired scenario and apply it to real life. Let’s take, for example, a final exam you must pass. Let’s make it even more desperate, a final exam to graduate. And we’re not talking about a measly D+ pass, you MUST get an A. NO EXCEPTIONS. You have no clue where you are and you don’t even know what the class is. There is nothing left in the tank, you slept a total of 13 minutes 7 minutes ago and you feel like the entire world is going to collapse. The test is staring you down, taunting you and laughing at your discontent. What would be the one thing to save you in that moment? How about a DBZ-style power up complete with an unnecessary deafening 10-minute yell followed by and outrageously large “aura” surrounding you and blowing your clothes in wildly ways, literally breaking the earth you stand on!

What would real life be if the only way to concentrate is to do a 15-minute DBZ-style power up followed by a badass stare at your nemesis? I think it would be awesome. You know you wouldn’t be the only one who knows that you’re focused because your entire class would be buried in a pile of rubble YOU created getting pumped for that test! And better yet, you would have shattered power meters within a 10-mile radius!

So you have used 15 minutes to power up and psych yourself for the test. You are using another 5 minutes to stare at your nemesis (either the teacher or the test, your choice) threateningly as they look back at you in horror and/or amazement. Knowing that this is real life, that horror and/or amazement would be for the fact that you have completely destroyed the classroom, because you were so badass that your power was overwhelming, over 9000 in fact.

By this time, you would be taking the test with only five minutes left, with your aura surrounding you and possibly your hair a different color as well. Your test taking would happen in short bursts unseen by the human eye. It would be something like this: badass stare, quick writing with pencil, badass stare again, then more quick writing of the pencil. There would be so much power that no one would even know your test was done, but yet it seemed like it took about 23 minutes to fill in five minutes of real time.

So the test is done. And there you stand victorious, among the destruction caused by your fighting spirit. And there is nothing left. Yet, there is still happiness and good times had at your house like nothing happened, eating a large banquet of food, then waiting till your next test comes around, in which you power up again!

I wish college was like this. However, going into a fighting horse stance before every test got me some strange looks. Oh well, maybe one day that aura will appear or the ground will crack around me. A man can dream….