Dear Jamie,

Signed,
PickyForThePussy

Dear PickyForThePussy,

I’ll need to briefly introduce myself to provide you with some reasonable context of how I chose to answer your question. I grew up as a tomboy surrounded by my two brothers, mostly male friends, a plethora of video games, an obsession with academics, and plenty of Cheetos and Hot Pockets. I am currently 21-years-old and working in the video game industry. And I have a crush on Boba Fett.

The following is not an attempt to brag. While I have been told on several occassions that I am “hot,” I do not physically see it in myself. I grew up as an unattractive, overweight (by perhaps 60-80 pounds), kind-of-awkward nerd. This self-perception has stuck with me, in spite of my decisions to modify my outer appearance.

When I was physically unattractive (by society’s standards), however, I did not have low self-esteem. This was mainly because I was very much aware of my humor and intelligence. These two shining qualities were my selling points and they allowed me to get a little lucky sometimes with the fellas. Like, when we met online and shit like that.

To ensure the truth in my statements, here are some photos.

This is me in high school, about seven years ago:

This is me about three years ago:

This is me at this year’s E3:

I am not trying to flaunt myself. Again, I must repeat that I do not physically consider myself anymore than average-looking, but I do not consider myself ugly.

So what the hell is my point? People usually judge a potential mate by (1) looks and (2) personality. Many people forget the fact that (3) skills/interests should fit somewhere into the criteria. Skills and interests != personality, i.e. receiving a higher education is an attractive feature, but it is more of a skill than it is a personality trait. Playing video games is also a cute little feature, but it is more of an interest than it is a personality trait.

Here is the advice part: looks can change. A physical appearance can be altered. A fat chick can buy a gym membership. An ugly chick can slap a little make-up on and get a haircut. A tomboy can get a wardrobe change.

However, it is VERY DIFFICULT to change a girl who is as dumb as rocks. Equally, it is VERY DIFFICULT to change (much less, hang around) a hot conceited girl. It is difficult to convince a girl to watch Tron with you when she would rather be at Nordstrom. It is difficult to hold a good conversation with a girl when she is too busy applying a new layer of foundation. Case in point: girls who are interested in hair, make-up and Perez Hilton will always be interested in hair, make-up and Perez Hilton. If you lower your standards on how the female looks like, then you can seriously change it up later.

I simply want to let you know that there are smart and attractive/non-ugly women out there. They are considered a rarity, yes, but trust me, they do exist.

And we do not date douchebags. Douchebags date other douchebags. Smart and attractive women look for smart males – we are smart before we are attractive. I can tell you that I instantly reject any male who approaches me solely based on my looks. I have dated computer science students, engineering students, software developers, pre-med students, and video game professionals. I have never once been interested in a male who was unable to teach me something or unable to make me laugh.

Smart women do not do this for “gold-digging.” Smart women can easily provide things for themselves. We usually do not give a shit about the way you look unless you look like a complete tool.

Find yourself a smart woman with similar interests as you. She may not be the best-looking female, but she will probably be infinitely more beautiful than a stupid girl who has nothing to talk about save for the latest celebrity gossip and her new designer jeans.

Good luck, Geek.
Jamie

Agree with what I have to say? Do you think I’m full of shit? Tell me what you think in the comments.

Tags: dating, Geek Counseling, high standards, pretty girls, relationships, smart girls