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Dear Jamie,

hey!
you’re a girl right? how do u suppose i could dress more “edgier”? i feel that my wardrobe really makes me look like a “nice” guy.

Signed,
I Want a Hot Girl

Dear I Want a Hot Girl,

Whoever told you to dress edgier is a tool. Yes, I’m calling you a tool. No, I don’t want you to be a tool. No, buying drinks for girls doesn’t make you a nice guy. It makes you a tool. Yes, holding the door open for girls is polite. It makes you a nice guy.

Just be yourself. You’re a nice guy. You’re not a tool. Don’t try to be something that you’re not.

Being yourself is not a huge cop out. Being yourself is not highly overrated.

Don’t be a tool – especially if you’re in a big city like Los Angeles. LA is full of tools – you’ll just be another face in the crowd.

What are you looking for? Are you looking for a nice girl? Nice girls aren’t into tools. Now, if you’re looking for a whore, you can tool yourself out to your heart’s content. Just make sure to use a condom. However, if you’re looking for a girl that’s actually worth your time, she is most likely not into tools.

If you’re looking for a girl based solely on her looks (meaning, her only selling point is the fact that she’s “hot”), then she is probably looking for a guy based solely on his looks (meaning, his only selling point is the fact that he’s “hot” – oh, and rich). Therefore, the notion to dress “edgier” is probably going in the right direction – but I advise you that it will be a waste of time and money.

This is what you seem to believe a “hot girl” is – she’s a female whose sole quality is her physical attraction. What do you want to do with this “hot girl”? Do you want her to be your girlfriend? I can assure you that a “hot girl” won’t settle with just one guy. I can assure you that once she has run your credit limit off the charts, she will drop you and find her next prey before she has to re-apply her mascara.

I don’t know if that’s someone you – as a geek – would consider hot.

Not dressing accordingly to yourself is not being yourself. What I’m saying is that if you find yourself smart and attractive, you would dress yourself in a smart and attractive way – not “edgier.”

Be yourself.

And if you’re really going to do the whole “edgier” thing – uh, www.americanapparrel.com.

Good luck, Geek.
Jamie

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One Response to “Geek Counseling: If it Looks Like a Tool…”

1. Geek Counseling: Are My Standards Too High? | Pixelated Geek says:

   August 9, 2009 at 10:35 pm

   [...] Smart women do not do this for “gold-digging.” Smart women can easily provide things for themselves. We usually do not give a shit about the way you look unless you look like a complete tool. [...]

   Reply