Geek Counseling: My Friend is in Love with a Whore

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Dear Jamie,

One of my best friends is really digging this ditzy chick. Honestly she has nothing to offer except for a short skirt, a pair of flat tits and a butter face. She’s not even just ugly because of the way she looks. She gossips and talks shit about all of her “best friends” and she doesn’t look out for anyone but herself. At first I thought he was just into her for a quick lay, but it seems like he’s genuinely interested.

I’m telling my friend that she’s really bad news. I’ve known this chick all my life and she’s one of the most conceited and most selfish people I’ve ever known. He tells me that she’s a really good and caring person, but to be honest, it’s a façade. Her track record doesn’t say much good about her. She has cheated on all of her boyfriends and she’s a complete whore.

She hasn’t been through any self-improvements and she’s just a really bad person overall. I’m mostly irritated because I know that my friend can do infinitely better than this chick. What can I do to convince him that this chick is bad news?

Signed,
I Hate Dumb Sluts

Dear I Hate Dumb Sluts,

Consider this: like is attracted to like. This means that smart people like other smart people, athletes like other athletes, geeks like other geeks, etc. This is a sort of psychological behavior; we are attracted to those who are similar to us because it is used as a form of self-verification. When there are major differing qualities in the attractive and the attracted, the latter usually has a desire to become more like the former. I talk about this more in this post.

The most important thing to remember right now is this: idiots are usually attracted to other idiots. And yes, unfortunately, I am calling your friend an idiot. However, he might be blinded at the moment. He probably doesn’t think that this girl is actually an idiot, but rather a really cool chick.

Let him step back and really evaluate the reasons why he’s attracted to her. Are his answers genuine? Are his answers vague? Guys don’t just like girls because “I think she’s really nice.” Bullshit. Every girl can be really nice. When a guy gives an answer like that, it usually means he can’t really think of a reason why he actually likes her.

Ask your friend if he’s been hanging around any other girls. Find out if this girl has been the only one he’s been hanging around a lot. And if this is the case, make him aware of the mere exposure effect: “a psychological phenomenon by which people tend to develop a preference for things merely because they are familiar with them. In social psychology, this effect is sometimes called the familiarity principle. In studies of interpersonal attraction, the more often a person is seen by someone, the more pleasing and likeable that person appears to be.”

If he’s not convinced that being attracted to this girl is a result of psychological behaviors, then I guess it just means that the dude is an idiot. And if the dude is an idiot, consider this: we gravitate and become close friends to those who are similar to us. If you know what I mean.

Good luck, Geek.
Jamie

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