Dear Jamie,

Edit: He has said “I love you” to the OP on several occasions

Dear I Want Love,

This guy is clearly in his bachelor phase. He’s entered the stage in his life where he maximizes the potential of his toolish behaviors because he knows that he won’t be able to do it later. The demographic of this phenomenon is generally males in their early twenties – he wants to be exposed to and mess around with a multitude of girls before he really has to settle down with a career, a wife, a family, and other, um, important old people things.

It’s not his fault and this is nothing to roll your eyes over. In actuality, he’s being somewhat considerate. Think about it. Take into consideration these three items: (1) You took his virginity, (2) His age, and (3) His raging male hormones. If you two were in a relationship at this moment, he would spend a lot of time thinking about fucking other girls. If – after a few years – you escalate that relationship into a marriage, the desire wouldn’t be satiated and he might even end up cheating on you.

He’s craving to be a douchebag right now. Some men can control it better than others. In his mind, he has the rest of his life to be a loving partner, an awesome father and all of that other wholesome bullshit. He’s in his early twenties – perhaps the acme of his existence. Just be aware that it is totally possible for a guy to be in love with one girl while he’s banging other unimportant chicks. However, he wants to take advantage of his age before he becomes a 40-something-year-old divorcee hitting on young college chicks at the local bar.

When a male is indomitably set on being single, nothing you say to him will convince him to pursue a relationship with you. Nothing. And this is in spite of how beautiful you are, how smart you are, how funny you are, and how compatible you are. All you can really do is show him that you have these qualities and let him eventually figure out for himself that you are the right one for him.

Given the fact that you two shared great intimacy, I can confidently tell you that he’s not lying when he tells you he loves you. It seems as though he genuinely has feelings for you and he recognizes all of the qualities you have to offer. However, it seems as though he wants to save you for that coveted “someday.” For now, he is focusing on his immediate goals – he’s most likely keeping you around because he knows he wants to be with a woman like you when he’s done messing around the drunken little girls who have no direction in life. He loves you.

But you two don’t have the same goals right now. He is seeking the physical while you are seeking the emotional. Unfortunately, neither of you are able to satisfy the goals of one another – this is where your frustration lies. You have two options:

(1) You wait around for him while he fucks other women. You give him both the pleasures of other women and the security of your loving relationship. Granted, you don’t have many benefits on your end (save for the whole “We’re going to be together forever!!!” thing) and it could consequently lead to a lot of heartache and trust issues. It’s going to take a couple of years before he even realizes that he should be providing you with emotional security.

(2) You find a man who is older, more mature and is through with being a douchebag. This guy will be able to treat you the way you want to be treated. He’s done with the bullshit. He’s done with the young girls. He’s done with being a tool.

It’s really up to you.

Good luck, Geek.
Jamie

Agree with what I have to say? Do you think I’m full of shit? Tell me what you think in the comments.