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Dear Jamie,

guys don’t like me. i think it’s because i’m fat and ugly and weird. i meet some guys online sometimes but when we meet irl, they’re not interested anymore. what can i do to get a bf?

Signed,
fug

Dear fug,

Fucking quit that shit.

The first thing you have to change is not your appearance, but rather, your attitude. Guys do not want to date a moping bitch who constantly feels sorry for herself. Take this with you: you are beautiful. Once you can convince yourself, it will be infinitely easier to convince others.

Believe it or not, men don’t solely look for nice tits and a shapely ass. Trust me when I say this: looks can only go so far. A girl can be physically attractive, but once she unleashes her ferociously bland personality, she simply becomes a talking pair of boobs. You have to remember this: it’s an unfortunate truth that some girls carry very little to no substance. These are the girls who have been so good-looking that everything has been handed to them throughout their entire life. Granted, it was unnecessary for them to actually develop a personality. The only types of guys who would be absolutely willing to engage in conversation with that type of female (for more than two minutes) are the same random douchebags who are on a quest to fuck random bitches.

You aren’t looking for random douchebags to fuck, right? Good.

Do you think you have a personality? What parts of your personality do you like the most? Let those qualities shine. Are you irrationally hilarious? Let it be known. Are you genuinely caring? Don’t hesitate to let it show. Have you collected all 493 Pokemon? You’ll seem like a good catch. Embrace your best assets and be proud of them. This will make you more attractive, regardless of how “fat and ugly and weird” you are.

However, if you do feel that your physical appearance is a severe disability, then do something about it. I do not want you to let it consume you, but being “fat and ugly and weird” just doesn’t stop by itself. If you feel that way about yourself, why aren’t you trying to change it? Try getting a membership at the gym. Start eating healthier foods. Try out a new wardrobe. Get a new haircut. There’s so many things that can be altered with one’s physical appearance, that I feel it’s almost more important to stay true to your personality. A personality wins hard in the long-run.

Lastly, always be sure to be yourself. If you put up a facade when meeting guys online (i.e. showing them pictures with extremely flattering angles, acting in such a way that you don’t act in real life), then you’re setting yourself up for a rocky first date in real life. Remember, nobody likes liars.

Good luck, Geek.
Jamie

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