Sometimes game developers need to make a quick buck. Sure they probably don’t want to make “My Little Baby Girl Loves to Ride Ponies and Shop at The Mall 2,” but people have to make money somehow. So here’s my list of the Top 5 Video Games That Shouldn’t Have Been Made.
5) Wipeout The Game
It is not that I have a problem with the idea behind this game; I actually like the idea of an obstacle course based game as much as the next guy. My main gripe is that it has to be based on Wipeout, and not something more awesome or hilarious such as Ninja Warrior, Unbeatable Banzuke, or Most Extreme Elimination Challenge. Just the thought of explaining Unbeatable Banzuke is funny enough, but playing through the “couple’s wheel barrel course” or the “stilt course” would be awesome.
4) The Price is Right
Does anyone still watch “The Price is Right?” Has Bob Barker been culturally relevant since he fought Adam Sandler in Happy Gilmore? These are questions I ask myself when I look at The Price is Right game. What is fun about a game version of The Price is Right? I don’t even think the contestants would have any fun if there weren’t money involved. How do you translate a television game show where contestants take turns guessing prices of products into a meaningful video game? How many questions can I ask in one point?
3) Zenses Rainforest
The ultimate casual title, this game is often referred to as the game series for people who think that Brain Age is too hard. If you are one of these people, you probably don’t actually care for video games too much. Trying to “win” in this game takes a backseat to “enjoyment,” which is another way of saying it doesn’t matter what you do in the game. There isn’t any incentive to become skilled at the game, as that would defeat the point.
Monopoly is commonly known as the board game that finds out who is the best at not quitting. Scholars maintain that no one has ever finished a full game of Monopoly, as no one has the will to play capitalism for two days straight. So why make a video game version of it? To test out the durability of your TV? Which will inevitably be on for at least 48 hours, until you run from the room screaming and tearing at your hair as you watch your little sister pretend to bathe in the Monopoly money like Scrooge McDuck.
1) Imagine Party Babyz
Party games can be a lot of fun. Getting a large group of people together, making them do goofy things, and laughing and basking in the warm glow of camaraderie can be a wonderful way to spend an afternoon. So, naturally, developers want to capitalize on this lucrative market. And what better way to make some money then combining two markets? Except somewhere this idea went terribly wrong. And now we have Imagine Party Babyz. With a “z.” Wonderful.
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