Privates – Having Fun with STIs.
If you thought being in the mind of a struggling writer fighting the darkness or stuck in outer in space fighting re-animated corpses was terrifying, imagine being caught in the war zone between somebody’s thighs…disturbing. Every great game has its great set pieces, whether it’s fighting on the beaches of Normandy or thrusting a chainsaw through the enemy’s intestines. Have you ever fought on a crab-infested pelvis or battled herpes in someone’s nether regions? Check out more after the break.
Privates is a side-scrolling shooter in which you take the role of John “Jack” Sterling, leader of the Foxtrot Squad of STI Warriors. The game itself is a “Free to Play” PC shooter and the brainchild of Zombie Cow Studios, an independent game developer. In order to fight this menace, you enter battle with condom helmets and an all-purpose blaster which has spermicidal ammunition, perfect for taking down rouge sperm. Your Blaster has three other types of ammunition: Anti-Fungal Spray, Anti-Viral Fireball, and an Anti-Bacterial Beam. Each one is used to fight different types of STIs, from pubic lice to herpes, gonorrhea, syphilis, chlamydia and much more.
When in combat, you can scan the battlefield and be introduced to the infection on screen by a lovely English woman who is informative with a twisted sense of humor. She gives you the lowdown before you go down.
The overall art style is similar to a children’s cartoon, a mildly disturbing contrast for such mature content. The game has a sharp sense of humor, referencing games such as Left for Dead, Gears of War, and Halo. The great voice cast had me laughing aloud. It took me a few hours to complete, but there is more content on the way. I found this game to be equally hilarious and disturbing; I definitely recommend taking a look at it. The best part is that it’s free.
Privates was originally was going to be a XBLA title but, due to mature content, was scrapped and later gained life on the PC. On 26 November, it won the BIMA (Boston Interactive Media Association) award for best game.