Perked your little ears up now didn’t I? I’ve been thinking a lot about sex recently, mostly because I am a male and that is mostly what we think about. I had other reasons for thinking about sex not just from a reproductive or carnal sense, but from a intellectual level. Hot right? I was sitting in thinking about how I felt about the philosophy of sex. Note: That line gets you no where at the bar. Sure we all want it, but is sex a distraction like they say? Is it a nice but aside from procreation a needed part of life? And what about us geeks that are usually thought of to not be very sexual creatures? I wouldn’t say I have the solutions like Dr. Ruth, but I feel that after meditating on the issue for most of my life I should be able to articulate some picture of how I feel on the issue.
Sexual impulses from my arm chair philosophy idea is that at it’s core a sexual impulse is the desire to connect with someone or attract them. From that definition we as a geeky community are pretty terrible at sexuality then, we aren’t sexual creatures. We push connection with another person away for the safety and protection of computer generated worlds and forums that we can hide away our selfs in. Most of us from a raw sexual side don’t primp or preen ourselves to attract a mate or go to events that promote a high sexual atmosphere like clubs or parties. Think of the last party you went to that didn’t have LAN in front of the event title. These are all just a great example of our sexual disconnect, even at parties that we want to connect with people we bring our computers and character sheets as a barrier to ourselves.
So are we broken? Sexually Disfunctional? Technologically Sexual? Maybe the last two. I think that we all strive for that connection with another person, but we don’t act out that impulse fully or rather I should say “conventionally”. We are people that feel the most comfortable in a chat room talking to someone, but not getting to see or hear them physically. We all agreed as surfers of the web that this a common ground of sorts, a place where people can connect. Is that incomplete for a normal sexual being? Does the physical necessarily mean sexual connection or intimacy? I’m going to have to say yes. Which is admittedly vague at best. Trust me I know.
If the goal of a sexual encounter is to become closer to someone which I feel that it is, then it seems logical that one could engage in that via the internet, game, or role-playing like us nerds do. Now, is it also possible to engage in a physical sexual act in which you don’t feel any more connection than you would if you shook someone’s hand? Yes, and I am sure that it happens all the time. Using this logic I feel that us nerds have the potential for a greater amount of sexual connection than the casual sexual encounter crowd. Note: Using that line in a bar will get you no where.
But, the question still looming in my head is, Is it healthy that we have so many recluses and hermits that engage in almost no face to face contact with another person? I think not, the whole no man is an island doesn’t always pan out Wolverine is still with the X-men and Batman has every do gooder in Gotham. I think you need that connection to keep you grounded in this world or else people become “people” as a collective and not a person to you. If people just become and stay “People” then you have lost that human ability of compassion turning yourself into a hollow version of yourself.
As for the act of sex itself, I don’t think that it is our goal as people to go and have sex with every person that we meet. I feel that if you keep it in the realm of a connecting action rather than a tally sheet then you should be in the clear. If you went around shagging everything that moved people would become just objects and if the goal of sex to you is to count the number of times you can get off with a sexual object please find yourself a fleshlight and quit wasting your time. If you keep it as an intimate encounter though that is when things can become really special and meaningful.
I feel that we as a collective could use to get a little sexier, but we are already in many regards. Let’s keep building on that.
Questions? Comments? Concerns? E-mail me justin@pixelatedgeek.com or follow me on Twitter @Justin_Dean
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