I noticed through my 5 years of being engulfed into this world of Geek-ery that when you ask a Nerd a simple question, you end up getting a lengthy, complicated, overly analytical, and may I add, a wordy explanation.

You may be asking, “Why Jes, what ever are you talking about?” while you push your highly prescribed glasses up the bridge of your nose with your mouse clicking index finger.

Well, my dear friend, may I use a perfect example from CBS’ The Big Bang Theory.

OR

Whether it’s an engineering, computer science, comic nerd, OR a gamer, they will always give an overly complicated answer. And this is all based on experience.

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I don’t know if it’s coded into the male genome, but I swear, every man loves to stare at another chick. Either they love it, or they just have a chronic staring problem. Anyway, no matter the type of man, whether it’s a douche bag, sweetheart, momma’s boy, pussy, or nerd in this case, they will check out a slutty girl.

A boyfriend may tell their girlfriend that they don’t check other women out, but that’s a bunch of bullshit. They’re straight up lying. Hello? Has anyone heard of peripherals? Yeah, thank you, you’re welcome.

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Remember when Xanga was a big thing? This was a time after RateMyPic.com and before Myspace or Facebook ever existed. Remember when you were able to personalize you blog profile where you could change the colors, background, and add music!

I remember when the latest and greatest song came out, you would immediately link that onto your Xanga and let it compliment blogs that usually involved high school drama and whining.

So anyway, one day I went to check the comments on my Xanga. After the page was done loading my ears were immediately filled with a familiar song, a song I did not remember linking onto my Xanga. It was More Than Words by Extreme. You know what song I am talking about. Everyone knows this song. So when it got to the part where front man Gary Cherone graced us with his beautiful voice, it never game up. Instead what came up was my dear boyfriend’s.

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So what happened exactly on that infamous birthday that I mentioned last week?

After saying good bye to our mutual friends, I marched out of his house already set on leaving him. And who do you think came running out of the house after me? The WoW crazed soon to be ex-boyfriend.

By the time I got to my car, opened the door, sat in the driver seat, and inserted the key into the ignition he immediately placed himself between me and my car door. Before I could even turn the key, he ripped the keys out of the ignition and shoved it into his pocket. I was livid, Absolutely fucking livid. I did the first thing I could do at the time. I slapped him.

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I seriously think there should be a support group for the girlfriend’s of WoW players. Am I right?

November 23, 2004 marked the beginning of the end for many girlfriends (and boyfriends) out there. The end of a social life, the end to a size 28 waist, and the end of a sex life!

My boyfriend and I had only been dating for almost 5 months and he had continuously been telling me about this game called World of Warcraft. You know, being a guy and everything, I thought this was just a typical video game where he would play for a month, beat it, and be done with it. But oh no, was I so fucking wrong. (more…)

Okay, so on a first date, the objective of the night is to usually impress the other person, right? Right…..well….maybe with the exception of a geek.

During the whole evening, Rico Suave over here impressed me by picking his nose, scratching his balls, and farting. You can say, our relationship was love at first fart. Oh, and did I mention, the mofo cried on our first date? Yeah, that’s right. Cried.

After escaping my father’s wrath, we headed to the movie theater.

He asked me what movie I wanted to watch, and I being the girl that I was, I suggested The Notebook…..maybe The Notebook wasn’t such a good idea…

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July 7th 2004 marked the very first official date. When I say “official” though, I mean a date where I wasn’t running around with a dude 4 years older than me behind my father’s back.

For your information at that time I was 17 years old and my love was 21. Yeah I know, It’s literally Dateline NBC’s “How to Catch a Predator” status.

Anyway, being our first date that meant the man had to meet my very traditional, conservative, and worst of all, Filipino father. For those of you who have dated a Filipino girl, I bet all of you out there are all groaning and nodding knowing what it is like to deal with that. For those of you who have not had the opportunity to know, there are two opinions to dating a Filipino girl. 1.) you date without the parents knowing, meaning having to lie and sneak around or 2.) date, with the parents knowing BUT dating with a shitload of limitations! And when I say shitload, I mean A SHIT LOAD. In other words, you might as well go back to option 1. (more…)

People constantly ask me, “So! How did you meet your boyfriend?” I usually tell them I met him at a mutual friend’s birthday party…but… I purposely leave out the part where I first laid my eyes on him. Why you ask? Let me tell you.

It was nothing romantic nor fantastic. If anything it was more of a “Who-the-Fuck-Is-That?” moment.

The first time I ever laid my eyes on my future boyfriend, I asked my friend “Hey, who hell is that asshole that is hogging up the karaoke machine?”

After a few pop songs, all I could think about was, “Uh, can we have someone else besides this dude sing?”

Don’t get me wrong, the dude had a wonderful voice and jazz hands only a gay guy would be proud of. So was this man gay?

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