After explaining the different stages of the Friend Zone and posting an interview with someone who had actually “escaped,” it’s time to answer a much more crucial question: “How did I manage to get trapped in this shitty place?” Firstly, it’s essential to note that this information pertains only to those who are aware of their position in the Friend Zone. Secondly, if you kindly refer to the flow chart above, you’ll notice that there are five core reasons as to how you got stuck in no-pussy-land. The following is an explanation of each bullshit reason and why you shouldn’t trap yourself in any of them.
While these are blatant problems in the Friend Zone Dilemma, there are stories of people overcoming these obstacles. In the next installation, I will provide tips and suggestions on fixing these sticky situations.
1. You didn’t approach her.
Most guys think that this is absurd — a best friend would be appropriate as a boyfriend, right? Yes, it makes sense, but girls are more fond of irrational ways of thinking. When you first meet a girl (or, perhaps, “re-meet” a girl – as in, you see her for the first time after a long period of absence), she will place you in one of two categories: “a friend” or “a guy I’d have sex with.” Unless you give her a reason to be immediately attracted to you (i.e. huge bulging muscles, super intelligence, strong sense of humor – all depending on the specific girl’s tastes), you will be labeled as “a friend.” Approaching her doesn’t mean that you have to declare an undying love for her. (By the way, don’t ever fucking do that.) It simply means that if you are interested in her, you should implement gestures that spotlights your candidacy for her vagina.
2. She’s boning someone else.
Or at least thinking about it. If she doesn’t consider you “one of her best friends” and she’s already incessantly yapping about some dudes you could give less of a shit about, then she’s subconsciously letting you know that she’s taken – whether it be her heart or her vagina. Have you realized that she won’t shut the fuck up about her ex-boyfriend? Or that intelligent Salvadorian man who she met barely a few weeks ago? Or, uh, Brad Pitt? It’s because those are the men on her mind, and those are the men that she wants to be with. Not you.
3. Too many mutual relationships.
So you guys aren’t exactly “best friends,” and she doesn’t really mention the names of any other guys. It’s probably because you’re her best friend’s boyfriend’s roommate. Or because all of her best friends are all of your best friends. Or because you and ten other people hang out all of the time. Whatever the connection may be, you probably know too many people in common. This makes her uncomfortable. While I’ve already established that women prefer irrational ways of thinking, the female is simply thinking far in advance: She is most likely afraid of the consequences that would ensue post-breakup.
4. You’ve, uh, rejected her before.
Bad news, captain. After you reject a girl and she gets over you, you’re most likely placed in the “friend” category. It hit her pride. And now she’s striking back – perhaps not too intentionally. I know that it’s heartbreaking news, but the ship set sail the moment that you told her “no.”
5. She doesn’t find you attractive.
There’s not much to say here, my friend. But it’s not because you’re ugly. Well, maybe it is. In all honesty, it completely depends on the girl’s tastes. It must be noted that all women find money/power ridiculously attractive, usually much more so than physical appearance. While money is an easy term to decipher, “power” is based on a more subjective level. Depending on the girl, “power” could mean your bicep circumference, your ability to make her laugh, or your overall GPA. It could mean the number of people you have influence over or it could mean the number of gigabytes in your hard drive. If it seems like you have all of that and more, it’s best advised to just hit the gym, man.