You’re on your first date, how much Geekiness do you reveal? What if they don’t like FIREFLY????
Join our heroes and heroine as they delve into the depths of dating and finding that very special Geek. Here the horror stories of dates gone bad. Even learn how to be successful in a Geek relationship. All this and more on this week’s exciting episode of Comic Issues.
I seriously think there should be a support group for the girlfriend’s of WoW players. Am I right?
November 23, 2004 marked the beginning of the end for many girlfriends (and boyfriends) out there. The end of a social life, the end to a size 28 waist, and the end of a sex life!
My boyfriend and I had only been dating for almost 5 months and he had continuously been telling me about this game called World of Warcraft. You know, being a guy and everything, I thought this was just a typical video game where he would play for a month, beat it, and be done with it. But oh no, was I so fucking wrong. Read On
July 7th 2004 marked the very first official date. When I say “official” though, I mean a date where I wasn’t running around with a dude 4 years older than me behind my father’s back.
For your information at that time I was 17 years old and my love was 21. Yeah I know, It’s literally Dateline NBC’s “How to Catch a Predator” status.
Anyway, being our first date that meant the man had to meet my very traditional, conservative, and worst of all, Filipino father. For those of you who have dated a Filipino girl, I bet all of you out there are all groaning and nodding knowing what it is like to deal with that. For those of you who have not had the opportunity to know, there are two opinions to dating a Filipino girl. 1.) you date without the parents knowing, meaning having to lie and sneak around or 2.) date, with the parents knowing BUT dating with a shitload of limitations! And when I say shitload, I mean A SHIT LOAD. In other words, you might as well go back to option 1. Read On
read your post on the friend zone and i must say it is impressive..
i guess i was in between stage 3 and 4
however the girl i was hanging around with just told me that she is ‘kind of’ dating this guy ..
i really really like her..she said we are close frnds and she doesnt want to lose me and stuff.
is there nothing i can do? i cant stop thinking about her
i would be really glad if you could help a little
p.s.: hope you dont mind this rather blunt informal mail
I’m in a strange reverse friend zone situation. I mean, I’m friend zoned according to her but apparently I put myself there. …Wat?
In reality, she merely assumed something I’d said early on meant I was entirely opposed to being anything more than friends. Thus, she’s approached our situation in a purely platonic way from the start. We “met” on the Internet and met for real about a month later, and it was one of our early digital correspondences that stuck me in the friend zone. I, of course, wasn’t aware of this, so while trying to judge how into me she was when we hung out, I was registering about a zero on the interestedness meter. Turns out it’s because she had me in the friend zone… that I had unknowingly put myself in.
I’d like to get out of the zone but I’m not entirely sure what to do. My motives aren’t exactly the purest — I’m not flat-out opposed to a relationship but I’m not exactly looking for one either. I don’t feel like I have a lot of offer relationship-wise (I’m a boring nerd who spends too much time on the computer) but I have a strong desire for female companionship and the emotion that goes with it (ie I love foreplay and cuddling and all that). Beyond the companionship I don’t necessarily desire whatever it is that makes something an official relationship. I think at this point all I want is a friend-with-benefits type of thing — a so-called “casual relationship.” It’s something I’ve been offered briefly twice before in the past, but I feel like that’s kind of an asshole thing for me to want. I mean, it’s fine and dandy when it’s the girl’s idea but asking for that as a guy seems like douche move.
Especially in this situation because it’s like… I friend zoned myself (apparently) and then I’d be trying to get out… only not to go after a relationship like she’d probably expect. She’s a pretty cool girl but I’m not *that* into her, you know? I still want to hang out with her because we have common interests but I’d rather our hang-out time end with her spending the night rather than me dropping her off at her place. In other words, I wouldn’t mind being her boy toy, but I guess that’s too pipe dream-esque to actually happen. Too much simultaneous caking having and eating, I reckon.
Do you think it’s worth the trouble? Should I even bother trying to correct her mistaken assumption that friend zoned me from the start? Would being honest about how I want to have some fun with her but not necessarily anything more than that be useful or would it just make me out to be an asshole? Do you think there’s a chance she’d be cool with a casual relationship? Is it common for girls to want or be okay with that sort of thing? Or do I simply I let her go on thinking I was never interested from the start and find someone else?
Sometimes a guy will man up and try to escape the Friend Zone. And usually, this guy flawlessly fails. Here is a small set of guidelines to follow upon being rejected:
1. Don’t hold a grudge.
Generally, it’s a terrible idea to feel animosity towards someone for not returning emotional feelings. For example, do not fucking watch her web show and act like a stupid little 5’3″ bitch in the chat room. Holding a grudge will just push her further away, and you’ll never be able to re-establish your friendship.
2. Don’t try to be friends immediately.
It’s not going to work. Don’t ask me why. It just won’t. Just let the emotions settle down for a little bit. If she doesn’t think you guys should talk anymore, don’t push against it. You need to (seemingly) get over her before you can be friends again.
3. Don’t dwell on her.
Rejection doesn’t mean the end of the world. I know that she seemed like she would be a perfect girlfriend for you. However, you won’t be able to find out how many more perfect-er girls are out there if you spend all of your time crying about her.
4. Don’t try to get through to her through people close to her.
Since you guys aren’t talking to each other anymore, you become best friends with her little brother? Don’t do that. It’s so fucking awkward.
5. Don’t worry about it.
A relationship is impossible unless there’s a spark coming from both ways. It’s unfortunate that she didn’t feel the spark, but that’s just the way it is sometimes. It doesn’t mean that you’re an unattractive person, it just means that she didn’t see you in that kind of light. Chin up, soldier.
After explaining the different stages of the Friend Zone and posting an interview with someone who had actually “escaped,” it’s time to answer a much more crucial question: “How did I manage to get trapped in this shitty place?” Firstly, it’s essential to note that this information pertains only to those who are aware of their position in the Friend Zone. Secondly, if you kindly refer to the flow chart above, you’ll notice that there are five core reasons as to how you got stuck in no-pussy-land. The following is an explanation of each bullshit reason and why you shouldn’t trap yourself in any of them.
While these are blatant problems in the Friend Zone Dilemma, there are stories of people overcoming these obstacles. In the next installation, I will provide tips and suggestions on fixing these sticky situations.
1. You didn’t approach her.
Most guys think that this is absurd — a best friend would be appropriate as a boyfriend, right? Yes, it makes sense, but girls are more fond of irrational ways of thinking. When you first meet a girl (or, perhaps, “re-meet” a girl – as in, you see her for the first time after a long period of absence), she will place you in one of two categories: “a friend” or “a guy I’d have sex with.” Unless you give her a reason to be immediately attracted to you (i.e. huge bulging muscles, super intelligence, strong sense of humor – all depending on the specific girl’s tastes), you will be labeled as “a friend.” Approaching her doesn’t mean that you have to declare an undying love for her. (By the way, don’t ever fucking do that.) It simply means that if you are interested in her, you should implement gestures that spotlights your candidacy for her vagina.
2. She’s boning someone else.
Or at least thinking about it. If she doesn’t consider you “one of her best friends” and she’s already incessantly yapping about some dudes you could give less of a shit about, then she’s subconsciously letting you know that she’s taken – whether it be her heart or her vagina. Have you realized that she won’t shut the fuck up about her ex-boyfriend? Or that intelligent Salvadorian man who she met barely a few weeks ago? Or, uh, Brad Pitt? It’s because those are the men on her mind, and those are the men that she wants to be with. Not you.
3. Too many mutual relationships.
So you guys aren’t exactly “best friends,” and she doesn’t really mention the names of any other guys. It’s probably because you’re her best friend’s boyfriend’s roommate. Or because all of her best friends are all of your best friends. Or because you and ten other people hang out all of the time. Whatever the connection may be, you probably know too many people in common. This makes her uncomfortable. While I’ve already established that women prefer irrational ways of thinking, the female is simply thinking far in advance: She is most likely afraid of the consequences that would ensue post-breakup.
4. You’ve, uh, rejected her before.
Bad news, captain. After you reject a girl and she gets over you, you’re most likely placed in the “friend” category. It hit her pride. And now she’s striking back – perhaps not too intentionally. I know that it’s heartbreaking news, but the ship set sail the moment that you told her “no.”
5. She doesn’t find you attractive.
There’s not much to say here, my friend. But it’s not because you’re ugly. Well, maybe it is. In all honesty, it completely depends on the girl’s tastes. It must be noted that all women find money/power ridiculously attractive, usually much more so than physical appearance. While money is an easy term to decipher, “power” is based on a more subjective level. Depending on the girl, “power” could mean your bicep circumference, your ability to make her laugh, or your overall GPA. It could mean the number of people you have influence over or it could mean the number of gigabytes in your hard drive. If it seems like you have all of that and more, it’s best advised to just hit the gym, man.
He’s an original member of the notorious Counter-Strike clan, Pubmasters. And if you don’t know who they are – that’s okay, everyone starts out as a nub. Their video (released sometime around 2003) is posted below.
Anyhow, Kevin is currently a 24-year-old masters student in engineering at a prestigious university. These facts establish Kevin simply an uber-geek among others, but one feat makes his dick larger than the rest: he managed to escape the Friend Zone. Read on to find out how.