Have a question you’d like to ask? Ask away. All submissions will remain anonymous.

Dear Jamie,

I’m 25, broke, no F/T job, and still livin’ with pops. I hate it as much as he does, but my work history sucks, so I keep trying every single area employers site, along with the usual job mega sites. I go to various places for career counseling, but my degree semi-blows, and what I need to know is should I go back to school for an IT-related Masters, another, probably easier, Masters, continue to find a job where I live, or move?

Signed,
Needing A New Life

P.S. Not like you never get this, but, the over/under is .5% chance with you after me listing all that. How close are those odds?

Dear Needing A New Life,

As a very quick and fast response, I’d suggest going back to school. I know it sucks (fucking sucks), but education is always a good investment. Also, in regards to your PS, lots of chicks are after guys with fancy jobs and flashy clothes, but some girls just want a guy with a good sense of humor. And a huge cock, too, I guess.

Here’s what it seems like the root of the problem is, Needing A New Life: you can’t find a job. I’m sure that you’re already fully aware of this. Seeing as how you visit our web site, I’m very much convinced that you are an amazing person. But do you think that you boast a sufficient amount of confidence during your interviews? Can you convince them that you are fit for the job? Do you yourself think that you are fit for the job? Now ask yourself this: if YOU don’t think you can do the job, who else will?

Getting a higher education will help both you and employers gain more confidence in your skills. Education is always a good investment – you can never stop learning. However, going to school might mean that you have to live with daddy for a few more years. To help pay tuition, you can get a part-time job (perhaps in services) or apply for financial aid or grants. And once you have that degree in yours hands, it will be much easier to (1) get a F/T job, (2) stop being broke, (3) move out of dad’s house, and (4) score with the ladies.

Good luck, Geek.
Jamie

Have a question you’d like to ask? Ask away. All submissions will remain anonymous.

Dear Jamie,

Thanks,
The Legal Virgin

Dear The Legal Virgin,

Even after a swift move of “ctrl+f ?”, I completely missed your question. I will assume that you’re asking, “What the fuck am I doing wrong?” And if I completely missed the boat on that one, I apologize – send in another question. There’s a lot of topics to cover with all of the information you’ve provided, but I’ll touch on perhaps your most overlooked error: location, location, location.

Firstly, bear these two items in mind:

(1) we attract and gravitate towards those who we are most similar to us.

(2) The partner we choose is a reflection of who we are or who we would like to become.

The outgoing and extroverted girls you speak of appear attractive to you perhaps because they serve as a reflection of what you would like to become – that is, outgoing and extroverted. And seeing as how (1) outgoing and extroverted individuals tend to get laid more often, and (2) you’re seeking advice on how to get laid a girlfriend, I feel confident in my inference.

The reason you don’t find yourself completely attracted to them (“most of them seem like idiots”) is perhaps because you place high value on your intelligence – a practice that appears to be absent with these “really pretty” females at high-energy venues.

Let me tell you why that practice appears to be absent: you can’t have a conversation when it’s too fucking loud to hear what the other person is saying.

While most evidence points to otherwise, not all women who have an active night-life are complete morons. A big problem, however, is that meeting someone worthwhile in that type of situation is victim to the following variables: loudness in the room, dim lighting, and blood-alcohol content. You seem to be looking for a smart girl. So what the fuck are you doing at a club? Will you be judging a woman’s intelligence based on her ability to pop, drop and lock it?

If you feel uncomfortable there, it’s not your scene. Likewise, if you feel uncomfortable there, you will have a LOT of trouble trying to convince a chick to date you.

My advice is to look for women in other places. If you consider yourself a nerd, you’ll work best with a nerd chick. Think about it this way: “If I were a chick, where would I hang out?” Whether the answer to your question is in the computer lab, your discrete mathematics class, or on Craigslist, it is most likely that your dream girl is awaiting you.

Good luck, Geek.
Jamie

Have a question you’d like to ask? Ask away. All submissions will remain anonymous.

Agree with what I have to say? Do you think I’m full of shit? Tell me what you think in the comments.

If you missed Night Zero as our guest on PixelatedLIVE, you missed this breaking news they gave us:

Click here to view the embedded video.

If you don’t want to listen to the MP3 above, then just know that on NightZero.com, this Friday, will be a 2nd photo set from their already famous Left 5 dead photoshoot. Also, supposedly, Valve tipped off the Night Zero crew with information that a sequel of L4D is coming out called Left 5 Dead.  The extra character will be a pirate.  Not sure if they were bullshitting me or actually telling some truth.  You decide.

Below is an archive of last nights show.

[Source]

Fortunately, Pixelated Geek had the opportunity to build up a story on the masterpiece:

What gave you the idea to build the Nintendo DSi with LEGO? Did you get any attention/endorsement opportunities from Nintendo?
Nintendo approached me in the beginning of March and asked me to create a LEGO sculpture of their upcoming DSi model. Together, we decided to create something larger-than-life that would “wow” everyone!

How long have you been playing with/working with LEGO blocks?
I’ve been building and playing with LEGO toys my whole life. I recently found photos from when I was two years old, stacking together LEGO DUPLO bricks. I was a total “LEGO maniac” when I was a kid, and LEGO toys were usually the only toys I ever asked for when my birthday would come around each year. I kept building LEGO models all through childhood and even into my teenage and adult years. My models slowly became more involved and elaborate as I got older, and eventually I started building LEGO models professionally. Now it’s my full-time career.

I’ve also been an artist all my life; I previously I worked as a graphic designer, an illustrator, a web designer, and a cartoonist. Somewhere along the line, I decided to merge my artistic side with my hobby, and now I express my creative side with LEGO bricks instead of by drawing.

Is this your profession or simply a lovable hobby?
I am licensed by The LEGO Group as a LEGO Certified Professional to do commercial projects like this. I’ve created LEGO sculptures for TV, celebrities, museums, galleries, major corporations, schools, stores, and more.

I’d always kept LEGO in my life, even as I became an adult. I had a regular office job, but I would come home every day, take off my tie, and build intricate LEGO models, enormous sculptures, and towering skyscrapers. My projects were starting to get some attention from the media, which in turn brought commissions and events my way. Eventually, I was making LEGO sculptures, full time, using hundreds of thousands of LEGO bricks every year.

I now have a wonderful, open relationship with The LEGO Group. I keep them updated with what I am working on and we help co-promote each other’s work. They’re always happy to hear about what I’m working on and interested in finding new ways that we can work together.

Most of my friends and family think my job is really cool… they all work in office buildings and are jealous that I can have fun all day while they have to go to meetings and do other boring things.

Is that your cat?
The screens on the LEGO sculpture of the Nintendo DSi are from Nintendo of America’s marketing collateral. When we were planning the sculpture, I asked the folks at Nintendo to send me images of what they’d like to see on the screens. They are really excited about the dual cameras in the DSi and sent dozens of different menus and screens related to the camera functions, as well as some camera shots. I saw the cat and thought it would make a fun shape, and that it would be easily recognizable as a blocky LEGO mosaic. I create a lot of children’s portraits and pet portraits with LEGO bricks, and I could have made the cat look a lot more realistic, but I wanted to keep the shapes simple and not draw too much attention away from the DSi itself. :)

What are some details on the actual structure?
The sculpture took over 200 hours to design and build, and was done over the course of about 2 weeks together with two of my assistants. It contains 51,324 LEGO pieces, all of which are available in regular off-the-shelf LEGO products. (Yes, kids, you too can do this at home!) :) The final sculpture has giant-sized versions of every detail, from the screws on the battery cover to the electrical contacts in the power port. The tiny SD card slot is over a foot tall!

Before the project started, I gathered as many photographs of the DSi as I could, and then used graph paper to plan out the basic shape and size and all the visual elements like printed lettering, buttons, slots, and so on. Eventually Nintendo mailed me a real DSi and I took hundreds of measurements, from the depth of the buttons to the width of the tiny bevel around the edges. I’d build prototypes of different areas (a camera lens, a button, some text, etc) to see how it would look, often taking them apart and rebuilding them over & over. When I finally would have a button, port, plug, or icon that I liked, I’d rebuild it with glue and place it onto the rest of the sculpture.

Where is the structure right now? Where else has it been?
The Nintendo DSi LEGO sculpture is on display at the Nintendo World Store at Rockefeller Center in New York City throughout April 2009.

Afterwards, it will be shipped off to Nintendo of America’s offices in California. They’re planning further displays, but I don’t want to spoil their surprises, so you’ll have to stay tuned. :)

Did you get any manual assistance in building this?
I always do the lion’s share of work when creating my LEGO sculptures, and this was no exception. I don’t use computers to plan out my sculptures… it’s far too complex, and — if you ask me — it takes all the fun out of it. But that means I need to rely on my own visualization to complete the sculpture, and farming out work can be tough since only I can see what’s in my brain. :) I did have two assistants help me since the timeframe was so compressed, though. They helped build much of the internal structure and the display screens, and together put in over 35 hours of work on this sculpture.

Do you have a DSi? Are you a video game enthusiast? If so, what are some of your favorite games?
Before the DSi went on sale, Nintendo sent me one to reference while creating the LEGO sculpture. But I was so busy building that I didn’t even get to play with the real DSi! I only ever turned it on once… to see what color the different lights lit up! :) Perhaps now I’ll have some time to actually use it.

I used to play a lot of video games when I was younger … I have fond memories of time spent with Mario and Duck Hunt on the original Nintendo Entertainment System. (And, going back further, I did play a fair amount of Pac Man, Space Invaders, and Centipede in my youth!) But lately my LEGO work takes up all of my available time, so video games have had to take a back seat to my other activities. The last major console I had was a PS2… I had nearly every driving game, from Gran Turismo to Simpsons Road Rage, plus a steering wheel controller with pedals. Perhaps because, as a New Yorker, I don’t actually own a car.

Have you created any other similarly geeky structures?
I’ve been twice commissioned by Google to create models of their logo, which are hanging in their offices in Copenhagen and New York. The one in New York is particularly interesting, because it portrays the underpinnings of Google’s amazing simple-seeming techno-wizardry … From afar, the sculpture of their logo appears clear, but as you move closer to it and change your viewing angle, you start to see depth and complexity that you didn’t realize was there.

But I haven’t made many other geekish sculptures, only because I haven’t been asked to. I’ve always wanted to create a giant Apple product or a model of something very detailed and technical, like a microchip. But since my work gets a lot of exposure, I really can’t create sculptures of particular brands or products unless I’ve been licensed directly by the company.

What are some of the media outlets that have given you attention in regards to your masterpieces?
I’ve been fortunate to appear and/or show my work in many major media outlets, including BBC Arts Extra, The New York Times, Good Morning America, 30 Rock, Elle, New York Magazine, and many regional magazines and newspapers around the world. I’ve also appeared in numerous retrospectives and documentaries about LEGO and art.

What do you do with the LEGO structures afterwards? i.e. Do you disassemble them? Donate them? Sell them?
All of my LEGO sculptures are permanently glued. Every LEGO piece is glued in place, one-by-one, so the sculpture can withstand shipping and the inevitable “curious fingers” during public display. And to keep large heavy sculptures like this upright and stable, I build them around a steel skeleton. It is, after all, on public display and even though it’s glued you don’t want it to fall over and flatten anyone. :)

Why the blue DSi?
Doesn’t it just look cool?

The DSi sculpture was built using tens of thousands of hard-to-find “light blue” LEGO pieces, which are nearly identical in color to the blue DSi… the two colors are so close that I just had to use this cool LEGO color! It’s lighter than the regular blue that you’re probably used to seeing, but all the pieces are found in regular off-the-shelf LEGO kits.

If not the blue DSi, the only other option would have been black, but all the cool shapes and angles and LEGO-bumpiness would have been lost in shadow.

If you aren’t already too jealous of his awesome job, check out more of Sean’s work at his web site, www.seankenney.com.

As some of you may have seen me mention before in previous posts and on my personal blog (http://imperialwizard.tumblr.com) I always talk about different firewalls and anti-virus software you should use and not use. For example “Norton Internet Security = Fail.” For my family I always just recommend Comodo. It’s so simple, it dosn’t jack your computer up with all kinds of crazy notifications (i.e. Norton, Mcaffe) and It’s really simple to use.

Now Comodo has gone one step further with their Internet Security Suite and came out with Internet Security Pro. You’re probably saying to yourself “holy crap, I want to be pro!” I’m sure you do. I want you to be pro too. As some of you may be using Comodo Internet Security right now, you may already know about the firewall, the smooth anti virus program and the Proactive security. I know you’re probably saying “What the heck is Proactive Security” if you don’t have Comodo Internet Security. Proactive Security is just that. It Proactively protects the IMPORTANT system files on your computer like your registry and your OS root files. You know? The stuff that keeps your computer running.

With internet security pro they’ve added live support but have taken it to a whole different level. What you can do now is download the program and a Comodo security expert (if you choose) will setup Comodo Internet Sercurity for you remotely. From start to finish.

The nice people from Comodo were nice enough to send me a copy to try out. What I did was build a machine from a bunch of parts that I had laying around and installed Windows XP Service Pack 3. For nostalgias sake let’s call this computer “The Gibson” After The Gibson was setup, I placed it on a totally different network on a different ISP directly connected to an AT&T DSL modem/wirelessrouter. Activated everything and then powered up Darth Fader (My workhorse laptop) and tethered to my phone. Then talked to a couple of people and gave out the IP and we all tried standard attacks. Comodo stood up to standard attacks and logged everything.

For overall ease of use, product quality and defense I choose Comodo Internet Security Pro over process pigs like norton and mcafee. You barely notice it’s there. It runs it’s virus scans with little memory use and lets you know and logs all problems. Also just the fact that Comodos techs can fix your computer for you when you can’t figure out what’s really wrong is a big plus.

Two thumbs up for CIS Pro!

Each office was filled with action figure collectibles, posters, and toys.  The game room had every next gen console (and a Wii  =P  ).  The office environment was like being in gamer heaven.  Fun geeky people, video games and toys.  What more could one ask for?

Big thanks to Kino, Zac, Sean and the rest of the J!NX crew for the warm welcome and food.

 

Also, Hi to Jessica Chobot =D

For more photos, check out the J!NX Glog.

Damon Baird, Gears of War series - ”Room for one more, it’s a fucking party down here.”

Hopefully he’s wearing the blue goggles because he’s aware that things will be squirting all over his face. I mean, like, my love. It’s not even about his bulging muscles or his handsomely rugged facial structure – it’s his deft mannerisms in everything mechanical. Any man who can hack into the Geobot can easily hack into my love zone. I kind of wish he would pull out his chainsaw and melee the shit out of me – he makes my hormones go Berserker.

Seifer Almasy, Final Fantasy VIII - “I hate it when you wish me luck. Save it for the slow students who need it.”

There’s something about the way the single strand of hair falls gracefully onto his forehead. And there’s something about the way he can wield his gunblade with only one hand. This arrogant son of a bitch was a monster on the battlefield, and I’ll bet that behavior can transpire into other environments. Seifer, let me be the reason why you fail your SeeD exams – we can go fishing and play Triple Triad all day, and you can summon me all night long.

Akuma, Street Fighter series - ”I am power made flesh.”

I’ve always wanted Akuma to show me the powerful flesh that he’s talking about – maybe I can find pixels of that fiery red hair elsewhere. And I’d like to personally experience his perfect balance of speed and strength, and then get a taste of his raging demon. There’s always something thrilling about the top-tiers, and it’s understandable; if I were a Street Fighter character, I’d have no problem with him being on top of me, either. And even though he’s not always at the top, he’ll always need someone to work the joystick and mash buttons for him.

Falco Lombardi, Star Fox series - ”Hold still and lemme shoot you.”

This might make me a furry, but I wouldn’t try to wobble out if he did a barrel roll all over my face. I don’t know if you’ve ever noticed this, but Falco’s arwing is bigger, faster, and stronger than Fox’s, Slippy’s and Peppy’s arwings combined. Falco doesn’t take shit from anyone – he comes and leaves as he pleases. And that’s what I love in a man. Or, um, bird. Slippy constantly nagged Fox to “get this guy off me,” but I won’t be nagging you any time soon, Falco – especially if “that guy” is you.

Gary Oak (Rival), Pokemon series - ”You’re telling me you conquered all the gyms in Johto? Heh! Johto’s gyms must be pretty pathetic then.”

Gary MOTHERFUCKING Oak is easily the most bad-ass antagonist in the history of gaming. However, if bad-assness isn’t enticing enough, then take a mere glance at the incredible size of his Pokedex. I’d get a little excited every time Gary’s theme music came on and I know that he got excited, too. This was indicated by the exclamation point that hovered over his head. And by “the exclamation point” I mean “my nipples,” and by “hovered over his head” I mean “got hard.” Maybe he can show me a thing or two about his giant Pokeballs. Smell ya later? Gary, I want to smell you NOW.

]]> http://pixelatedgeek.com/2009/03/five-video-game-characters-ive-had-a-crush-on/feed/ 11 http://pixelatedgeek.com/2009/03/special-musical-guest-on-pixelatedlive-march-25th/ http://pixelatedgeek.com/2009/03/special-musical-guest-on-pixelatedlive-march-25th/#comments Thu, 05 Mar 2009 06:45:47 +0000 isevenx http://pixelatedgeek.com/?p=4365 Sam. What? You haven’t heard of Sam? Here’s a video to refresh your memory.

Click here to view the embedded video.

He’ll be playing that song above and one original song.  Come to the show and watch!

The Friend Zone is what happens when you forget to let a female know that (1) you indeed have a penis and that (2) you do indeed want to stick it inside of her. Escaping the Friend Zone is a remarkable feat. Being trapped in the zone is the equivalent of being a gay BFF or, perhaps worse, being “like a brother to me!” In the Friend Zone, you listen to her problems, you remind her constantly that she’s beautiful, and you treat her like a queen – because she deserves it. Basically, being in the Friend Zone is kind of like being in a relationship, except you don’t get any pussy. I’ll expand this description in a later post.

Much to partial disbelief, there are varying degrees of one’s position in the Friend Zone. And yes, this means that you may have a better chance at escaping the zone than your competitors. I’ve decided to begin my series with an explanation of these different stages. I now present to you, the Friend Zone Scale.

Stage I: GL HF

This is by far the most difficult stage to be in. In fact, she may be unaware of your penis. Incidentally, she may be hanging off of someone else’s nuts right now. You have two choices from here: get over her or stop acting like a pussy. You have probably known her for far too long and she simply can’t see past the history of you acting like a pussy after all of those years/months/weeks/days.

• You bake or cook together. Fully-clothed.
• She told her parents that you’re gay.

Stage II: You’re an older brother to her

It seems that she may be using you for emotional support. She probably just got out of a relationship or is pursuing a guy who is not paying attention to her, and she needs verification that she has self-worth. That verification is you. Think of it this way: I wouldn’t suggest getting into a relationship with someone who clearly wants a relationship with someone else.

• She begged you to watch He’s Just Not That Into You with her and then cried about it because it reminded her of her ex.
• She’s “not ready for a relationship.”

Stage III: She enjoys your company

It’s clear that you and her have had hours of conversations, both online and offline. A relationship with you has probably crossed her mind a few times. You’re teetering on the border of getting into the deep abyss of the Friend Zone and peeking towards the light. Hang in there.

• You went to the Farmer’s Market with her to buy organic apricots.
• You’ve slept in the same room together – and you were on the floor.

Stage IV: Her friends know about you

She thinks you’d be a good boyfriend. However, she is probably hesitating to pull you out of the Friend Zone because she doesn’t want things to be “awkward.” She genuinely values the friendship that you two share and thinks that you’re a genuinely caring guy.

• She gives you wake-up calls
• She has put make-up on you

Stage V: She has thought about your dick

Listen, she’s waiting for you to make a move. If not, she’s waiting for you to respond to her moves. Beware of these examples, however, for they could possibly be well-disguised instances of lower stages. What does she like to talk about? Is she mentioning her ex-boyfriend far too often? Is she complimenting your V-neck from American Apparel? Is she asking you questions that could possibly give you a boner should she whisper them in your ear? This is make or break, son.

• You bake or cook together. Scantily clad.
• You’ve slept in the same room together – and cuddled.

Stage VI: ESCAPE FRIEND ZONE NOW!

You’ve gotten physical, buddy, and it’s more than just holding hands. Everyone agrees – she’s into you. However, you genuinely don’t know what to do.

• She doesn’t recall making out with you when she was drunk (or pretending to be drunk).
• She sensually touches your ears, back, arms, neck or knees.

And now the question begs: HOW TO ESCAPE STAGE X? I hate to be a tease, but more information will be available in my next post, seeing as how I’m still in a towel and I’m late for that thing I need to be at. Yes, I’m in a towel.

As a female in a unique position of being non-ugly with boyish interests, I have had the unfortunate opportunity of friend-zoning many, many, many men. The good news, however, is that I can now pass valuable female-perspective information onto you. Incidentally, this is merely part one to an x-part series of the Friend Zone Dilemma.