I’m in a strange reverse friend zone situation. I mean, I’m friend zoned according to her but apparently I put myself there. …Wat?

In reality, she merely assumed something I’d said early on meant I was entirely opposed to being anything more than friends. Thus, she’s approached our situation in a purely platonic way from the start. We “met” on the Internet and met for real about a month later, and it was one of our early digital correspondences that stuck me in the friend zone. I, of course, wasn’t aware of this, so while trying to judge how into me she was when we hung out, I was registering about a zero on the interestedness meter. Turns out it’s because she had me in the friend zone… that I had unknowingly put myself in.

I’d like to get out of the zone but I’m not entirely sure what to do. My motives aren’t exactly the purest — I’m not flat-out opposed to a relationship but I’m not exactly looking for one either. I don’t feel like I have a lot of offer relationship-wise (I’m a boring nerd who spends too much time on the computer) but I have a strong desire for female companionship and the emotion that goes with it (ie I love foreplay and cuddling and all that). Beyond the companionship I don’t necessarily desire whatever it is that makes something an official relationship. I think at this point all I want is a friend-with-benefits type of thing — a so-called “casual relationship.” It’s something I’ve been offered briefly twice before in the past, but I feel like that’s kind of an asshole thing for me to want. I mean, it’s fine and dandy when it’s the girl’s idea but asking for that as a guy seems like douche move.

Especially in this situation because it’s like… I friend zoned myself (apparently) and then I’d be trying to get out… only not to go after a relationship like she’d probably expect. She’s a pretty cool girl but I’m not *that* into her, you know? I still want to hang out with her because we have common interests but I’d rather our hang-out time end with her spending the night rather than me dropping her off at her place. In other words, I wouldn’t mind being her boy toy, but I guess that’s too pipe dream-esque to actually happen. Too much simultaneous caking having and eating, I reckon.

Do you think it’s worth the trouble? Should I even bother trying to correct her mistaken assumption that friend zoned me from the start? Would being honest about how I want to have some fun with her but not necessarily anything more than that be useful or would it just make me out to be an asshole? Do you think there’s a chance she’d be cool with a casual relationship? Is it common for girls to want or be okay with that sort of thing? Or do I simply I let her go on thinking I was never interested from the start and find someone else?