Guest Writer: Sara Winchester
There have been few book series that have risen to a worldwide phenomenon since the Twilight series, so it’s appropriate that its successor also started its life trying to be part of the Twilight obsession.
50 Shades of Grey, a nationwide bestseller, started its life as a Twilight fan-fiction. If you are familiar with that universe it has some pretty easy to spot Twilight-esque tropes: shy, plain, ordinary girl Anna who becomes the subject of desire and obsession for the darkly intense Christian Grey. What begins as a seemingly thrilling game of girl-meets-rich-mysterious-bachelor-in-odd-twist-of-fate turns rather dark early on in the film.
The film itself is poorly constructed; long, drawn out sequences with no legitimate rising and falling, and one-dimensional characters who are only portrayed on screen to be fantasy items. I haven’t read the books, but I realized a strange detail at one point. With all the attention drawn to Christian Grey being a young billionaire, even giving a college commencement speech, I still don’t know what he does for a living. Did I miss it? I don’t believe it’s ever actually mentioned. The lives of these characters do not serve a purpose to the author until she gets to the erotica portion, so it’s best to just ignore the details that could help them become more realized characters.
Grey begins to hit your uncomfortable buttons early on in the film. His introduction is professional and polite, yet strangely intimate. Their first encounter has an undeniable connection between the two of them, but it doesn’t do much more than establish that he is a predator and she is the prey. Grey casts mixed signals early on in their encounters by asking her to coffee, then pushing her away. Telling her that he “doesn’t do girlfriends” to then rushing to her “rescue” after Anna’s post-graduation celebration ends with her drunk-dialing him while in line for the ladies room.
The next morning finds Anna in Grey’s hotel room, wearing different clothes. She is at first alarmed that she was undressed by a man she’s just met, but he tells her it’s because she had thrown up on her clothing. I’m sorry, but this screams red alert to me. If I had woken up in this situation and couldn’t remember what had happened, I would not have taken it so politely. Even if you brought me toast. Of course, if I was as one-dimensional as Anna, perhaps I wouldn’t be aware enough to be upset for long.
That’s an alarming situation that many people face after a drunken night and sometimes the consequences are not so optimal. I think my biggest gripe with this particular scene is that he had to come rescue her, yet she was out with her friends and fellow graduate students, including her roommate. Why he didn’t just take her home, I have no idea. That would have been the logical thing to do, but it seems that being rich and handsome lets you get away with a lot of things.
The rest of movie progresses in a disjointed series of events, Grey alternating between narcissistic jerk, introducing Anna to his world of BDSM, and just being a general creep. He is wanting her to engage in a contract, binding her to him as a submissive with him as the dominate, but she is being aloof with her answer. This leads to big shows of him either buying her expensive gifts she feels embarrassed to accept or showing up unannounced in her home to fuck her senseless.
There were so many things wrong with this film, I could fill my own book. At the beginning, I will try and focus on the good.
Pros: It is bringing a light to the BDSM community. It’s gratifying to see that this lifestyle is moving out of the taboo and into more mainstream light. I’m just sorry this had to be the vehicle to do it. I encourage anyone interested in this lifestyle to not use this as a guide, do some actual research before you experiment.
Pros: Women portrayed as sexual beings, with wants and desires, without being seen as sluts. This is a very important step forward.
Now the bad:
Cons: This is in no way an accurate portrayal of a BDSM relationship. I have talked to quite a few people in the BDSM community and almost all of them across the board agree that this is not a Sub/Dom relationship. It’s abuse, simple and clear.
Sub/Dom relationships vary from person to person, couple to couple, player to player. Nobody’s rules are the same as another persons. That’s part of the appeal, being able to set acceptable limits and rules that are mutually agreed upon. But there is a common rule set that all abide by: Safe, Sane, and Consensual. Without those three, play should not be happening.
The consent part is what really annoys me about this “relationship.” For this portrayal, Grey seems to hold all the power. In realty, at the end of the day, the sub holds the real power. A sub chooses their partner, their limits (soft or hard), and their power. At the use of a safe word, play comes to an immediate stop and after care is given if necessary. Anna, being a newbie to this world, has no idea what her limits are because she’s never been pushed to them. To ask her to decide her limits with inferior knowledge or experience really is failing of the Dom to properly educate and care for their Sub. This is not something they are enduring, it’s something they enjoy. In this context, it is safe and consensual. In the world of Christian Grey, there is humiliation and lack of education.
What I don’t want is for people to walk away from this film and think this is what a Sub/Dom relationship is. It’s not this and it’s not love, it’s abuse disguised as erotica. Grey is carrying around a traumatic back story and stalker tendencies. But since he has money, helicopters, and expensive suits at his disposable, it’s deemed OK for the poor virginal ingenue to keep putting up with these red flags under the misguided belief that she can change him.
Play safe!
When she’s not seeing smutty films like this one, Sara Winchester is dominating her little minions as Manager of The Villainous Lair Comics & Gaming. Stop in and let her know you read her review! Or say hello on Facebook & Twitter!