Review – Moonfall

Directed by Roland Emmerich, Moonfall follows the world as it stands on the brink of annihilation when a mysterious force knocks the moon from its orbit and sends it hurtling toward a collision course with Earth. With only weeks before impact, NASA executive Jocinda “Jo” Fowler (Halle Berry) teams up with a man from her past and a conspiracy theorist for an impossible mission into space to save humanity.

Ever wanted to know what a film looks like when it’s so up its own ass it doesn’t know what it wants to be? Look no further than this disaster fest from the hands of director Roland Emmerich.

Emmerich has always been known in the industry as the “master of disaster” for frequently making disaster-themed films or cinematic popcorn flicks that are meant to mostly provide enjoyable entertainment, at least according to him. But to give him some credit he has made a number of films that have had major followings over the years and I consider some of his works to be really good, like Independence Day, The Patriot, and even The Day After Tomorrow. Other works of his I’ve considered to be either guilty pleasures or mindless schlocks that had the potential to be something more but always failed to reach it. And in recent years I’ve consistently found his work getting worse with films like Stonewall, ID: Resurgence, and Midway. But none of those seem to compare to the absolute atrocity Emmerich made and released this year known as Moonfall.

Now I know I am extremely late in reviewing this film since it came out in February, and after hearing how atrocious it was from many people including close friends I chose to avoid the film entirely. But during a plane flight in July, curiosity got the better of me when I saw the film was available and I decided to give it go. I wish I hadn’t.

For the remaining days of July and the entire month of August I tried to forget everything I witnessed with this film, trying to store it away in a box like Danny Torrence does in Doctor Sleep, yet somehow it remained in my mind like an annoying flea that wouldn’t go away unless I fully discussed and ranted about it in a review. So here I am now at the end of August ready to beat this film dead so I never have to think of it again.

Moonfall is another typical disaster flick from Emmerich containing characters that lack depth, clichéd dialogue, a narrative you’ve heard a thousand times over, numerous scientific inaccuracies, illogical plot developments, and so much fuck ugly visual effects. However, unlike some of Emmerich’s other movies, I’d argue this is his worst one yet because, unlike the others that could be dumb but fun, this was just fucking dumb and not fun at all. Like literally, there was nothing redeeming about this film for me at all, and it only proceeded to aggravate every single second from the moment it started to the moment it ends.

Every single character involved, despite being played by a talented cast, were all just stereotypes and forgetful copy-and-paste characters from other Emmerich movies. No one stood out at all with their performance or character because they were all just equally terrible and lacked any sort of development or creative quality. You don’t give a shit about anyone or anything that’s going on, especially when they are involved in a garbage story that has no clue what it’s trying to be. A conspiracy thriller? An alien invasion flick? A space adventure? An unhinged disaster epic? The film tries to be all these things at once, resulting in an incoherent and aggravating mess that defies logic consistently and not even in a funny way.

I am convinced that there was not even an actual script made for this film and instead was just pieces of thrown-out ideas from Emmerich’s other works thrown together without any organization and somehow was given the green light by studio executives.

The constant twists and turns felt so out of left field, not planned out or earned, that it left me just wanting to bang my head on the screen for how stupid it was. And even with the shit story I was at least hoping for the action or effects or visuals or even the music to offer some redeeming value. But nope! Even all of that is complete shit, with no consistency, uniqueness, craftsmanship, or entertainment value. If anything it just made my brain melt further and continued to infuriate me with its utter ugliness and constant re-usage of things from other films, thinking it could do it better.

Every horrible thing you have heard about this film from critics, audiences, and many reviewers on here is absolutely true. This film is an absolute dumpster fire and easily one the 2022’s worst films. Hell, I’d argue it’s the top worst film of the year in comparison to everything else because it truly offers nothing of value. I do not, repeat DO NOT recommend anyone to give this film your time or even your rental money because it’s just not worth it. Not even as a plane watch. I’m going to give Moonfall an F = 0%.

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