It’s the return of the Watch Party! Chiming in on instant messenger from North Carolina, Florida, and California, this week we’re watching 1986’s Aliens.
The Players: Elizabeth, Hannah, Kathryn, Nathan, and the parents (Parents represented here by Marian, because Dad would chisel a message in a stone tablet before typing anything on a phone.)
(Edgar, Starbuck, Sarah Jane, and Cricket are the various cats, but they don’t participate much.)
Hannah
Ok! Regular or special edition?
Elizabeth
Uh, I just landed on Aliens on Prime…
Kathryn
Good question.
Elizabeth
I’m watching this one.
Kathryn
Just getting refreshments now…
Hannah
ugh, Mom’s trying to find her phone
Ok, we’re all set here, waiting on “start playing”
Elizabeth
Ready when you are!
Nathan
We’re ready.
Hannah
…MOM’S WANDERED OFF AGAIN
Elizabeth
hahaha
Nathan
Of course.
Hannah
(also for some insight into this process, while she couldn’t find her phone, I said I could .hear. it, and then second-guessed myself and said “wait, maybe that’s my computer…” I said this while looking at my computer.)
Kathryn
Okay on three, one, two, three…MOM!!
Elizabeth
hee
Hannah
ok, her butt’s in her seat
ready?
Kathryn
Ready!
Elizabeth
Ready!
Kathryn
Playing
Elizabeth
Playing!
Hannah
playing
FRIGHTENING SCENES
Kathryn
Dammit, ad
Elizabeth
Pausing
Hannah
Paused on Brandywine
Nathan
We started at the end for some reason.
Kathryn
Dammit again
Elizabeth
Paused on “A James Cameron Film”
Hannah
wait I can’t type my eyes are watering
Kathryn
Somebody didn’t rewind when they returned the tape
Hannah
Every time you pause a movie, a mother resets her attention span
Elizabeth
hahaha
Kathryn
Playing
Elizabeth
Playing!
Hannah
paulyyyyy
Kathryn
Ooooo boy, this movie freaked me out when I first saw it
LANCE!
Hannah
I missed my title card picture because THIS IS ALL TOO MUCH
Elizabeth
Hee
Kathryn
Henriksen makes every movie better
Nathan
James Horner score, of course.
Hannah
PAN FLUTES
… not really
Kathryn
Wait, wasn’t this music in 2001?
Oh, ice. I thought starships were sparkly now
Hannah
heh
I remember that arc welder startling me
Kathryn
Heh. IT’S GOT A LATCH YOU KNOW
Nathan
Starbuck does not like the drill sound.
Hannah
Jumping from the hockey game to this has my adrenal glands all dizzy
Kathryn
I’ll bet, damn.
Elizabeth
Just waiting for the first jump scare
Kathryn
Same
Nice dissolve
Hannah
The Nurse of Exposition
Nathan
Reminds me of the end of 2001.
Hannah
HE’S SO HANDSOME
Kathryn
What year is this supposed to be?
Elizabeth
Aw Jonesy
Kathryn
Dapper man!
Meaning the cat
Hannah
haha
Nathan
Lies!
Hannah
NO PAULY IS ALSO DAPPER (and already kinda slimy)
Elizabeth
Yeowch 57 years
Kathryn
Yikes
Hannah
ew, stuff your “kiddo”
Elizabeth
Heeeere we go
Hannah
oh yeah, I remember this
Elizabeth
Gaaaaah
Kathryn
FAKE SCARY IS STILL SCARY
Good on the cat for not bolting
Nathan
But for Ellen Ripley, it would never be over.
Hannah
dun dun DUN
Those are not 21st century hairplugs
Kathryn
42 million, yikes again
Hannah
“but…but…but…my papers”
Elizabeth
Always scary how close this would be to what’d actually happen
Kathryn
They did a really good job of making her sound crazy even though we KNOW what happened
Hannah
“There have been people there for more than 20 years” yikes
(Are we way ahead? I should’ve paused more when Mom wandered off AGAIN)
(YES I KNOW YOU’RE READING THIS MOM)
Kathryn
Maybe a few secondsNope.
Elizabeth
“I can guarantee your safety.”
Kathryn
Heh heh heh heh
Hannah
This is several centuries in the future but also before they knew about PTSD
Elizabeth
Right?
Kathryn
“Get back out there and face this thing!”
Get stuffed
Hannah
They got people’s inability to frame their face in Facetime right
Elizabeth
Some things are eternal
Kathryn
As are smarmy corporate types making sincere promises.
“You’re staying here.”
DAMN RIGHT
Elizabeth
So glad I don’t have to be worried about the cat all movie
Hannah
Double bill with this and Event Horizon
Elizabeth
I was JUST thinking that
Kathryn
This sleeper-cube arrangement is a lot less peaceful looking than the opening-flower one from the first movie.
Nathan
GAME OVER, MAN! GAME OVER!,
Elizabeth
“I LOVE the Corp!”
I hate that guy but I also really like him
Hannah
haha
James Cameron’s approximation of locker room talk
Elizabeth
Based on a movie he saw once
Hannah
hahaha based on the toughest of his Lego people
Kathryn
Arcturian poon-tang, ugh.
Here’s Lance!
Elizabeth
Hee
Hannah
“a few deaths were involved” is the passive tense made hostile
Elizabeth
Hyperdyne, Cyberdyne?
Law of Robotics sighting!
Kathryn
“The A2’s were always a bit twitchy.”
Elizabeth
Ah, hadn’t realized the Xenomorph name got started here
Kathryn
I was JUST thinking that.
Hannah
“Just one of those things…” really making sure we know when the stakes get cranked up
Kathryn
Sigourney’s taking on Michael Bean’s role from Terminator 2.
“IT WILL NOT STOP. EVER. UNTIL YOU ARE DEAD!!”
Checkov’s Loader.
Hannah
LOADER
I ALMOST TYPED LOUDER
Elizabeth
I love the practical effects
Hannah
MOM JUST BUSTED OUT “MORE THAN MEETS THE EYE”
Elizabeth
Hahahah
Kathryn
Yay!! We’re definitely in the right crowd here.
Elizabeth
I forget how long the macho posturing goes on before we get to the screaming
Nathan
So much testosterone.
Kathryn
That actually got my blood pumping
Elizabeth
Same, I like the deadpan pilot
Nathan
Starbuck doesn’t like the plane sounds either.
Kathryn
That blatting horn sting ALWAYS gets me.
Hannah
“is that…is that the heart of the ocean????”
Kathryn
Hee
Cameron’s got his own style, that’s for sure.
Hannah
hahaha
…heeerrrrre’s the haunted house
Elizabeth
Ooo the motion trackers, didn’t they use those in the arcade video game we used to play?
Kathryn
Maybe?
Hannah
oh god, that’s a flashback
Elizabeth
Loved that game. Don’t think we ever got past the fourth level but man that was fun
Kathryn
Watching this from behind cover.
Elizabeth
hee
Kathryn
And you know I like Bishop and I’m all for Synthetic Rights but why WOULDN’T you send in the android first?
Elizabeth
Macho posturing?
Kathryn
Possibly too expensive
This guy is in SO far over his head.
Hannah
Just the wind there was nice
Elizabeth
Yep, tried to study them
Yipe!
Kathryn
YIKE
Hannah
The thing in the foreground was great
Kathryn
So they KNEW these things were killers already?
Elizabeth
Oh of course
Heh, that motion detector, I do love a good countdown noise
Kathryn
Surprised that startle noise didn’t result in a hail of bullets
Elizabeth
THERE’S the hail of bullets
Kathryn
Did Hicks stop that guy from shooting her?
Elizabeth
Maybe?
Kathryn
Good reflexes
Nathan
He did.
Pushed his machine gun up with his own.
Kathryn
Damn good reflexes
Hannah
Convenient find, that
Nathan
I read the novelization of this back in the day.
According to the book, Ripley had left a daughter behind when she left for the mission the first movie.
By the time she got back, the little girl had just passed away of old age.
Kathryn
I think I remember the trivia said that was a cut scene for the movie.
Elizabeth
Man I’d never heard that bit about Ripley’s daughter
Hannah
SHE’S BEEN TRAUMATIZED RIPLEY? REMEMBER TRAUMA?
… sorry, capslock getting a workout tonight
Elizabeth
hehehe
They sure cast a good actress for Newt, definition of helpless waif
Hannah
She’s right out of Mad Max
Kathryn
“It won’t make any difference. “
Shudder
Elizabeth
Was JUST typing that
Elizabeth
Is that a misdirect, are we supposed to suspect Bishop?
Hannah
Cameron went to the catchphrase store and cleaned up
Kathryn
I’m positive I saw this before Alien, so I didn’t realize what they were hinting with Bishop.
Nathan
It’s odd seeing Lance Hendrickson when his face wasn’t a mass of crags.
Kathryn
Right? I think I’m mostly familiar with him from Millennium.
Nathan
Starbuck doesn’t like the truck sounds either.
Kathryn
She’s gonna bolt when the shooting starts
Nathan
Suffice to say, she is not a fan of the sound design in this movie.
Elizabeth
And we have Geiger architecture
Kathryn
So the Xenomorphs build too?
Elizabeth
I always assumed it was like cocoons and nests
Kathryn
“Nesting” is probably a better word than “building”, yeah.
Checkov’s Fusion Reactor
Elizabeth
“What the heck are we supposed to use, harsh language?”
Kathryn
Obedient, aren’t they? I would have least asked a WHY.
Elizabeth
Not if you’re A MARINE, SOLDIER
Hannah
Yipe
Nathan
Marines aren’t supposed to think; they’re supposed to follow orders.
Elizabeth
“Newt, go sit up front.”
Hannah
Feed me, Seymour
Elizabeth
Eeeeeek
Kathryn
DON’T TOUCH THE EGGS
Elizabeth
ACK
Kathryn
OH NO
I DIDN’T NEED TO SEE THAT AGAIN
Elizabeth
Man they did such a good job of making those things just MOVE menacingly
Nathan
He was the lucky one.
Kathryn
Yiiiieeee
Kathryn
I will mostly be making noises at this point
Elizabeth
Heh, remember that thing about following orders if you’re a Marine?
Nevermind
Hannah
Hahaha
NOT IF IT’S A PLOT POINT YOU DON’T
Nathan
Notice I said “suppose” there.
Elizabeth
Would someone listen to Ripley for crying out loud???
Nathan
If people listened to Ripley, we wouldn’t have any of these movies.
Kathryn
Ripley’s being mighty strong to just not scream I TOLD YOU SO
Hannah
This is not a Space Force recruiting video
Elizabeth
Go get em Ripley!!!
BLAMMO
Hannah
I read that as “If people listened to Ripley, we wouldn’t have movies,” and I want it on a tshirt
Elizabeth
hahahah
Kathryn
MARINES WE ARE LEAVING
Also I want that t-shirt too
Hannah
SO MUCH SCREAMING CAN’T YOU ALL JUST CALM DOWN
Elizabeth
I was just going to say
Hannah
haha Edgar’s scared
Elizabeth
Cricket is hiding under the blanket
Nathan
Sarah Jane is indifferent.
Kathryn
Starbuck is surprisingly invested in the outcome.
Hannah
I don’t remember Bill Paxton being this whiny in Twister
Elizabeth
No indeed
Nathan
Shut up, Burke!
Elizabeth
And here the money element comes back
Hannah
Paul Reiser’s role in this movie is antisemitic
… that is a joke and also probably true?
Elizabeth
Oh yeah, you’re right
Kathryn
Hick’s is in charge. And he takes orders from Ripley.
Elizabeth
Michael Biehn likes Final Girls
Nathan
Now how did an Alien get on the ship?
Elizabeth
Left the door open?
Hannah
Is… is that the guy from Terminator?
Elizabeth
Yep!
Nathan
Hicks? Sure is!
Kathryn
Hence my observation about Terminator earlier
Elizabeth
Game over man game over!!
Kathryn
Except I spelled Michael Biehn wrong
Hannah
Jesus Paxton has gone full Matthew Lillard
Elizabeth
hee, correct!
Hannah
I missed it and also I didn’t know his name
Elizabeth
And the macho posturing disappeared without a trace
Hannah
Bill, you’re… not gonna get a nomination for this, pull it back
Kathryn
“Why don’t you put her in charge?” sure why not?
Nathan
He was in Terminator, as well.
Elizabeth
Nice that it’s not the woman losing her shit and having to get slapped around
Nathan
Played the punk who’s clothes Arnold took at the beginning.
Kathryn
Aw, Hicks is good with kids
Nathan
Hick is such a badass, he doesn’t need welding goggles,
Elizabeth
Aw, so flirty
Hannah
REMEMBER TRAUMA? RIPLEY? HELLO?
“Try to be like her” DREAM BETTER, LITTLE GIRL
Elizabeth
hahaha
Kathryn
Little girl not taking any well-meaning crap
Hannah
Damn straight
Kathryn
I was wondering why the acid didn’t just burn to the center of the planet
Hannah
Half-life…unobtainium… PAY NO ATTENTION
Kathryn
Millions. Bioweapons. Evil corporate buzzwords ahoy.
Ah, so this explains why the aliens waited to pounce until AFTER Ripley woke up
Elizabeth
“I expected more from you.” oh SHUT up
Kathryn
“What happened to you man, you used to be cool.” Ugh.
Hannah
Patching manually is never a good idea in a sci-fi movie
Elizabeth
Yeah it’s always a last resort and works, what, half the time?
Kathryn
Would the xenomorphs even be interested in Bishop?
Elizabeth
Uh, tunnel crawling barely wider than your shoulders NOPE
Nathan
CLAUSTROPHOBIA!
Kathryn
So many times I would have just huddled into a fetal position and just said “I GIVE UP I’M NOT PLAYING ANYMORE.”
You know it’s love when he decides to share his pulse-action rifle.
Hannah
Hahaha
Kathryn
Noooo Ripley, take the rifle WITH you.
Hannah
I HATE THE SKITTERING ON THE FLOOR
Kathryn
AAAAAAAAA
Elizabeth
Yipe yipe yipe aaaaaaaaaaaAAAAA
Kathryn
It’s like being stuck in a room with a wasp. ONLY WORSE.
Hannah
Stuck in a car with a wasp… about the same
Elizabeth
my hair’s trying to crawl off my head..
Kathryn
Quick thinking, Ripley
Hannah
BREATHE THROUGH YOUR NOSE, RILEY
Kathryn
AAAAaaa
Elizabeth
I FORGOT ABOUT THE SECOND ONE
Hannah
We’re not gonna talk about ricochets. A universe without PTSD and ricochets
Elizabeth
The smarmy smile you just wanna punch him
Kathryn
Pretty ruthless for a corporate stooge
Hannah
Haha I don’t want to say what it makes me want to do to him
Kathryn
I remember Paul Riser said his own mother hated his character
Nathan
Saw an interview with Paul Reiser where talked about going to see this movie with his mother.
Elizabeth
Hee, jinx
Hannah
Oh! I do remember that haha
Nathan
Even he was cheering when he got killed.
Hannah
… spoilers
Y’all need to listen to the child
Kathryn
Eeeeeee…
GOD THAT MASS OF THEM
Elizabeth
AAAAAAA
Hannah
Ok now he’s off the Christmas list
Elizabeth
hah. DAMNIT BURKE
Kathryn
Hudson finally found his zone
And now it’s gone
Hannah
Haha
Kathryn
GETEM VASQUEZ
Elizabeth
CHEERS
Kathryn
Oh jeez, Event Horizon corridors
Hannah
Dad’s gonna wait until the end and then say this is the most violent movie he’s ever seen, having forgotten he said the same thing about Matrix
Nathan
Didn’t he say that about Brazil, too?
Hannah
Oh god, I don’t remember
But he’s seen Platoon so none of it’s valid
Kathryn
This bit with Gorman hit harder than anything else.
Elizabeth
Always thought that was a great death scene for those two
Hannah
Yes
I sneezed and thought I had a chest-burster for a sec
Kathryn
That perimeter alarm will be in my nightmares
Elizabeth
“Hicks hurry” “I know” “I mean it!’
HE KNOWS YOU MEAN IT
Kathryn
Surprisingly beautiful shot of that alien coming out of the water
Nathan
The sinking doll’s head was perfect.
Elizabeth
Aaaa aliens and elevators DO NOT LIKE
Hannah
I have to say some of these cuts make it hard for me to follow what’s happening?
Elizabeth
Yeah I start to get lost
Kathryn
Same here. When was the last time everyone saw this?
Elizabeth
Watched it at the midnight movie theater with Jada maybe six or seven years ago I think?
Hannah
Probably in the 90s
Kathryn
Duct Tape: When One Gun Is Not Enough
Hannah
Haha
Elizabeth
Ripley is threw fucking around
through
too panicked can’t spell
Hannah
Fucks chucked
Kathryn
Oh jeez, now that alarm noise will be in my nightmares
Hannah
aaWOOGA
Elizabeth
Countdowns on top of countdowns
Kathryn
Here comes Sigourney Weaver’s Bad Ass Disney Princess Mode
Hannah
Heh any time I hear an automated “emergency” it reminds me of that The Truth story in the mall
Elizabeth
Yes!
Agent Starling flailing into the dark under the basement
All the squelchy noises aaaaaaa
Kathryn
Go Ripley go!
Nathan
Maternal instinct: ENGAGE!
Elizabeth
RAAAWR
Kathryn
Uh. Oh
Elizabeth
Very quiet aaaaaaaaaa
Hannah
MISOPHONIA STOP IT
CHEW WITH YOUR MOUTH CLOSED
Elizabeth
Man the DESIGN on that thing
And not a word of explanation they just let the audience figure it out
Kathryn
“Really?”
KABOOM
Nathan
They must have used TONS of KY jelly on this film.
Hannah
… on the budget guy
Elizabeth
HAH
Hannah
This does remind me of those video games where you have to be able to change guns as needed
Elizabeth
BONG BONG BONG BONG BONG KABOOM BLAWEEE SREEEEEEK
Hannah
My love for you makes me evacuate, it’s an EMERGENCY EMERGENCY
Elizabeth
All my nightmares of trying to find my way out of the maze of a building and I’m LATE
Kathryn
Sigourney hauling a little kid up nine flights and I sprained my foot going down the stairs
I like the fact that the Queen isn’t acting on animal survival instinct at this point, she’s PISSED OFF.
Epic shot there
Elizabeth
YAAAAAAAY
Kathryn
BISHOP SAVES THE DAY!
Elizabeth
Well they did talk about nuking the place from orbit
Oh man the music here
Kathryn
And now.
Hannah
Not a milk ad, that’s for sure
Elizabeth
AAAA THE WORST
Kathryn
GAAAAAAAA
Hannah
She put on her serious wig
Elizabeth
Hee
Kathryn
My heart is SLAMMING
Elizabeth
The audience at the midnight theater GOES NUTS
Hannah
All the music cut out
Elizabeth
Amazing
my hands are sweating
Kathryn
OUT OUT OUT
Nathan
And this is where the movie started for us.
Hannah
Haha
Anti director’s cut
Kathryn
Whooooooo
Elizabeth
whew!
Kathryn
I remember thinking the “Mommy” was a little on the nose, but it works
Elizabeth
Like the body bag closing over Reese
Hannah
Please return your synthetic in its original packaging for a full refund
Elizabeth
hahaha
Hannah
REMEMBER TRAUMA, RIPLEY?
Ok we’re done now, goodness, jeez
Elizabeth
Man alive what a ride
Kathryn
And they made it home safely and nothing bad happened to them ever again THE END
Elizabeth
Hee
Kathryn
So as of a few years ago Lance Henriksen was the only actor to play characters who’d been killed by an Alien, a Predator, and a Terminator
Hannah
OH DEAR GOD SOMEBODY TURNED OFF THE GRAVITY REGULATORS ON THE PARENTS
Kathryn
Ahahahaha
Hannah
… fucking hell that was almost as exciting as the movie
Kathryn
The heck?
Hannah
Nobody could stand up
Lots of flailing
Kathryn
What did they think of the flick?
Hannah
Dad asked what a set like that must cost
Nathan
A lot.
Elizabeth
It’s a Cameron flick so money’s sort of an abstract concept
Kathryn
Wow, imdb says the budget was 18 and a half million.
Which, honestly for a movie that impressive feels low.
Marvel movies go into the hundreds of millions, and most of that is for the CGI budget.
Elizabeth
Yeah they get better at spending money every year for sure
Hannah
Huh, a movie with practical effects is cheaper and feels impressive? Seems like there’s a lesson in there…
Nathan
Ya think?
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