Binary System Podcast – Watch Party #17 – The Haunting

It’s time yet again to Social Distance the heck out of this epidemic and watch a movie together while still staying in three different states: North Carolina, Florida, and California. Next up for the Tri-State Watch Party, we went with 1963’s The Haunting.

The Netflix Watch Party app ended up being a little complicated, so we just set a time to hit “play” and then chatted through instant messenger. Click the jump to read some highlights from the conversation.

The Players: Elizabeth, Hannah, Kathryn, Nathan, and the parents (Parents represented here by Marian, because Dad would chisel a message in a stone tablet before typing anything on a phone.)

(Some inside information: we’ve all seen Netflix’s “The Haunting of Hill House, and Mom’s main opinion was that the Mom and Dad were horrible parents who never should have inflicted that house on their children The End.)


Hannah

We’ve got it here

Elizabeth
Ready when yall are!

Nathan

So are we.

Hannah

And 3, 2, 1… go!

Elizabeth
Playing!

Better delivery of the opening than Netflix’s version for sure

Nathan
Vincent Price is not in this movie, but he should have been.

Kathryn

Opening narration is word for word from the book.

Elizabeth
I hadn’t realized the Netflix theme song was an homage to this one

Hannah

Well HoHH managed that, too…

Elizabeth
It needed more gravitas than what Steve could manage.

Kathryn

Quite

Hannah

SERIOUSLY

Elizabeth
Aren’t there a lot of bad guys with the last name Crane?

Kathryn

Ichabod isn’t so bad.

Elizabeth
Isn’t Batman’s Scarecrow Dr. Crane?

Kathryn

Yep

Hannah

Lordy, body already

Kathryn

Eee. BAD TOUCH.

Hannah

Haha

Nooooo

Yipes

Elizabeth
Excellently creepy shot of the body at the foot of the stairs

Nathan

Being Mrs Crane is about like being the drummer in Spinal Tap.

Elizabeth
Heh

Hannah

Sorry I’ll just be contributing noises

Elizabeth
hahahah

Fooling around with a farmhand on the veranda will now be part of my vocabulary

Oh cool, spiral stairs too

Kathryn

Wait, the evil reputation didn’t start until AFTER the first two deaths?

Elizabeth
You’re too judgey, two deaths is perfectly fine.

Hannah

WE GOT FRESH ROPE HERE, FRESH ROPE FOR HANGING

Kathryn

Back in MY day…

Elizabeth


Hannah

Tweet I saw the other day: “nobody’s ever seen a dinosaur ghost so we know they all died happily with no unfinished business”

Nathan

Kathryn

Elizabeth
The science is sound.

Hannah

Pound shop Clark Gable has it coming

Kathryn

Kid’s got a snack coming

Elizabeth
snack or smack

Kathryn

Smack

Hannah

I was seriously about to say “eat the child”

Elizabeth
man sis and brother in law are smarmy af

Hannah

Awwwwful

Kathryn

We got to linger with them more in the book. shudder

Elizabeth
Bleh

Hannah

No texting while driving, Nell

Elizabeth
No weird internal narrative while driving, Nell

Hannah

SUBtexting AMIRITE

Elizabeth
hahaha

Kathryn

Eyes on the road!

Elizabeth
Man that whole gate says go away

My sympathy for her is on the wane

Kathryn

“Creepy old fuck, practically wears a sign saying YOU WILL DIE…”

Hannah

“At least she didn’t bring her children with her” man Mom holds a GRUDGE

Kathryn

Hee

Elizabeth
hahahahaha

Man they got a GREAT actress for Mrs. Dudley

Kathryn

It’s hilarious how Mrs Dudley’s speech turns ridiculous on the second go-around

Hannah

OH JUST MAKE OUT ALREADY

Nathan


Hannah

Dr. Magnum PI

Nathan

Elizabeth
hee

“Maybe a whipping post or two” seriously do we need to get you two a room?

Kathryn

“We’re going to use this as the operating room. Ha ha.” RUN.

Hannah

Managed to make a door NOT closing creepy

Kathryn

The decorating style of this house can best be described as “busy as fuck”.

Hannah

Boy howdy

Nathan

Luke is Dr. Jacobi from Twin Peaks.

Elizabeth
OH THAT’S WHY HE LOOKED SO FAMILIAR

Nathan


Nathan

YOU’VE GOT TO SHOVEL YOURSELF OUT OF THE SHIT!!

Elizabeth
hahaha

Hannah

Theo you are a wolf barking up the wrong tree

Elizabeth
I figured Nell was picked because of that ghostly voice following her around all the time…

Hannah

Not Theo, Luke

Elizabeth
Heh, I’d read “theo” as “then” so I thought the sentence worked.

Hannah

It’s weird how the candle flames look like they’re in color

Elizabeth
Huh, they do.

Hannah

This must’ve been the inspiration for that Black Mirror episode

Elizabeth
Which one?

Hannah

The one with the American who stays overnight in a virtual haunted house

Elizabeth
OH, totally forgot about that episode.

Hannah

It does creepy pretty well

Elizabeth
All joking aside, I’m surprised they went as obvious with Theo’s flirting, was that pretty progressive for the early 60s?

Hannah

I was just gonna say

Nathan

Very.

Kathryn

Heeeere we go.

Hannah

That one of the best images from the Netflix version came from this

Elizabeth
figures under the door?

Kathryn

Properly scary stuff

Hannah

And the twisting old handle

Kathryn

I like that quick glare from Theo when she heard Nell say “John”.

Elizabeth
Luke wipes something off the wall and his first impulse is to taste it. Typical.

Hannah

WHY WOULD YOU TASTE IT

Elizabeth
Jinx!

Hannah

Mrs. Dudley is NOT going to be accused of sneaking away without notice

Elizabeth
Heh

Hannah

If this were a modern-day horror movie dumbass Luke would be dead by now

Elizabeth
Oh yes.

You tell im Theo

Kathryn

And now the creepy humming

Elizabeth
Also the dancing with nobody, which is Nell’s thing.

Kathryn

That is a crazy-high staircase

Nathan

Makes my palms sweat just looking at it.

Hannah

Dr. Corduroy also looks like Brian Torfeh from the Asolo

“Dizzy like a fox” fuck off Luke

Kathryn

Eleanor definitely likes grenade-fishing for compliments

Elizabeth
She’s lying isn’t she?

She doesn’t have a place?

Kathryn

Yep

Elizabeth
Got it.

Kathryn

“You mean where we’re standing?” MY REACTION TOO.

Elizabeth
Iiiinteresting

Kathryn

God just the thought of lying there with that voice outside

Elizabeth
They need to show us Theo and they need to show us now

Eep!

Oh wow, young Shirley or Theo had that line in the Netflix version

Hannah

I think it was Nell holding Theo’s hand there

Kathryn

“Preternatural”. I don’t think I ever heard an explanation of that word.

I wanna know how Eleanor makes her hair into that pillbox shape.

Elizabeth
Aaaah, I’d thought she might’ve ACTUALLY killed her mother.

Hannah

Your sister is a bitch, Nell

Elizabeth
Boy howdy

Kathryn

Word.

Nathan

Elizabeth
Theo’s eye roll is speaking for all of us

Kathryn

Nell, settle down.

Elizabeth
hahah “don’t be a bore Nell.” Not comforting, but hilarous.

That WAS pretty catty of Theo.

Kathryn

“Can’t you take a joke?” Blargh.

Hannah

“Cmon I Isolde, Tristan wants you inside”

Elizabeth
“Nature’s mistakes. YOU for instance.” I mean, OW.

Nathan

Moneypenny!

Elizabeth
Oh no way!

Elizabeth
Nice work on making an open door INTENSELY creepy

Hannah

MIND YOUR TEA

Kathryn

Ugh, look at the words on the arch.

Suffer Little Children Suffer Little Children Suffer

Elizabeth
eeeeeeee……

Hannah

The real ghosts were the lesbians we jilted along the way

Elizabeth
hahahah

Nathan

Elizabeth
I love that statue by the fire

Kathryn

JUST about to say that.

Elizabeth
The rest of the room, not so much

Geez I thought Mr. Dudley had snuck in there for a second whew

Kathryn

Ew, Luke, other people want to drink that brandy.

Elizabeth
ha

Kathryn

God, that’s the perfect scary booming noise.

Elizabeth
That’s amazingly creepy

Hannah

NOT THE BOOZE, LUKE

Elizabeth
hahaha

Kathryn

Again with the dancing

Elizabeth
I had no idea how much of an homage that was

Hannah

Lots of homages, which is nice

Elizabeth
Very

Elizabeth
WHAT WAS THAT

“Sorry, honey, but you’re not the type I keep.” He’s a jerk, but that was a good line.

Hannah

Oh, she needs a home

Elizabeth
Yeeeaaaah

Hannah

…hi I am VERY slow

Elizabeth
ha

Do NOT let that woman drive you idiots.

Hannah

Fucking right she drives

Oh, haha, on the other hand, good point

Elizabeth
Heh

Hannah

KISS HER

no not you

Elizabeth
“She has my place it isn’t fair.” She’s…not talking about the house there is she

Kathryn

What did y’all THINK was gonna happen

Elizabeth
“Why don’t they stop me?” Uh…you’re in a car?

Kathryn

WHO WAS THAT?

Hannah

Legit terrifying

UNTIMELY STROLL, EH, GRACE?

Elizabeth
Yep, Luke and Theo aren’t buying it.

On second thought, Luke’s buying it.

Hannah

Punch him, Theo

Elizabeth
Niiiice.

Hannah

Awesome

Nathan

Great movie. Very creepy.

Kathryn

No wondering about the House’s motivation in THIS version, that’s for damn sure.

Hannah

“Well at least no one was torturing their children” GIVE IT A REST, MOM

Elizabeth
AHAHAHA

Nathan


Hannah
Aaaaaaaand scene

 

Looking for a present for that hard-to-shop-for person? Want to buy them (or yourself) a square foot of a castle in Scotland? Look no further! You can support the restoration of Dunan’s castle, legally call yourself Lady or Laird, AND if you use this link to get there, you can support this podcast too! ScottishLaird.co.uk.

 

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