It’s time yet again to Social Distance the heck out of this epidemic and watch a movie together while still staying in three different states: North Carolina, Florida, and California. We’ve got time for one more scary movie in October, so we picked 1979’s Alien.
The Netflix Watch Party app ended up being a little complicated, so we just set a time to hit “play” and then chatted through instant messenger. Click the jump to read some highlights from the conversation.
The Players: Elizabeth, Hannah, Kathryn, Nathan, and the parents (Parents represented here by Marian, because Dad would chisel a message in a stone tablet before typing anything on a phone.)
Nathan
Are we still doing the movie tonight?
Elizabeth
I’m in!
Hannah
Roger that
Kathryn
Ready to play whenever you are
Hannah
Hold please, still loading
Elizabeth
Ready here too
Hannah
Mom is fidgeting in the kitchen
Mom said she was too scared to see this when it came out
Elizabeth
So was I
Hannah
… making tea
Nathan
I was too young.
Kathryn
I swear I saw Aliens before I ever saw Alien.
Nathan
Ended up seeing the sequel before the original.
Hannah
Ok ready here
Elizabeth
I saw some of the Prometheus movie when I was home, SUPER VIOLENT
Ready!
Kathryn
Play!
Hannah
Playing!
Kathryn
Ah, the days when you could start a movie without about 8 production logos first.
Nathan
12 if it’s an anime.
Hannah
FORGOT ABOUT IAN HOLM
Kathryn
Quick, what’s everybody’s favorite John Hurt role?
Elizabeth
Loved him in Only Lovers Left alive but I think there’s better roles
Nathan
There’s too many good ones to pic a favorite.
Hannah
1984
Kathryn
The War Doctor on Doctor Who.
Nathan
For me, probably The Elephant Man.
Hannah
Jesus H. Event Horizon is such a ripoff of this, isn’t it
Nathan
Oh, yeah!
With a little (OK, a lot) of Hellraiser thrown in.
Elizabeth
I like sci fi where they make it gritty, Star Trek is nice but I like more of a Star Wars aesthetic
Kathryn
With spaceships it’s either sterile white or a corridor to the Hell dimension.
Elizabeth
jinx?
Hannah
Heh
Kathryn
Love the dot matrix printer sound effects
Hannah
I love a grimy spaceship set
Kathryn
All the cheery music really leads one to believe this will be a different movie from what it actually turns into.
Hannah
OH Hazel from Watership Down, THAT’S my favorite John Hurt role
Kathryn
Another excellent role
Nathan
I remember reading a Mad Magazine parody of this not long after it came out.
They called it “Alas”, I believe.
Elizabeth
Everybody seen Space Balls?
Kathryn
Yep
Nathan
Or maybe Alias. I can’t remember.
Hannah
Been a while
Kathryn
Stupid fun 
Elizabeth
Silly as hell but certainly made fun of all the tropes I always thought the blondish woman looked a little like Aunt Shelia
Nathan
She was the little girl in The Birds.
Elizabeth
Oh no way
Hannah
I haven’t seen 2001 but this feels like similarly vague pacing?
Nathan
You can see the influence, definitely.
Elizabeth
2001 is even more vague in my opinion, without the tiny bits of humor in the beginning, but I’m biased against it
Hannah
Favorite Ian Holm role? (And only three of them can be Napoleon)
Elizabeth
Heh
Nathan
Bilbo Baggins!
Elizabeth
Did a solid job as older Bilbo
Hannah
I mean, you’re neglecting Brazil and Polonius in the Zeferelli Hamlet, but each to her own
Elizabeth
Hee
Kathryn
I always liked him in The Fifth Element, but I remember him best from that Jesus Of Nazareth mini series from…the md-eighties?
Hannah
HE WAS IN THAT?
Kathryn
Also The Madness Of King George.
Yep, Pharasee or Saducee, can’t remember which.
Elizabeth
Their bitching is very convincing
Kathryn
Very realistic, no magic-wand technobabble to fix everything.
Elizabeth
And padding the estimate too
Hannah
I’ve been meaning to see the Madness of King George for about 15 years now
Nathan
Great film.
Kathryn
Dunno about the rest of the suit, but I want one of those helmets for wearing when going to the store.
Hannah
Heh
Kathryn
Either that or a Plague Doctor mask.
Elizabeth
Hee, love the bit with the air jets
Hannah
The bitching about money really is a great way to misdirect the stakes
Elizabeth
Kitty
Hannah
Converse CRAWL Stars… maybe? Anyone?
Kathryn
I wanna go as Ripley for Halloween.
Elizabeth
Converse as the shoes?
Kathryn
God that ship is creepy looking
Elizabeth
HR Geiger at his best
Hannah
Heh, yes, Sigourney’s shoes are Converse, pretty sure
Elizabeth
AH. Sorry. Hi I’m slow.
Maul stars.
Kathryn
Yeep
Elizabeth
Scuse me, THIS is Geiger at his best.
Kathryn
Forgot the Pilot was so huge
Elizabeth
In this world, do we know if humans have made any contact with any other alien races? They seem so calm about it.
Hannah
…”like he exploded from inside” YIKES
Elizabeth
Ripley twigs to Something Going On.
Hannah
NO WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT
Nathan
White people in a horror film?
Elizabeth
“Like eggs or something” GET OUT GET OUT NOW
Kathryn
First rule of horror movies, no going off by yourself
Elizabeth
Second rule, no poking the clearly living alien eggs.
Kathryn
MOVING, IT’S MOVING
Hannah
I know I said I’d want to melt the ice around the thing but THESE BITCHES ALREADY MELTED
Elizabeth
AAAAAAA
Kathryn
YIPE
Elizabeth
“We’re clean let us in” NO YOU ARE NOT
LISTEN TO RIPLEY
Kathryn
QUARANTINE
CONTAGION
Hannah
IAN NO
Elizabeth
God that little tail slithering tighter
Nathan
What’s everyone’s time stamp? We’re at 37:27
Elizabeth
“How come you guys don’t freeze him?” Yes that WOULD BE BETTER
Kathryn
AN EXCELLENT QUESTION
Elizabeth
38:12 now
Kathryn
Definitely very self contained once the facehugger attacks
Elizabeth
I’ve seen some Ripley cosplay, but you could get a whole bunch of people together and do the crew of the Nostromo.
Hannah
Name the music please?
Elizabeth
Ohhh crap, it’s not Brandenburg but it’s something Baroque
Hannah
A Little Night Music Dad says
SHUT THE DOOR
Elizabeth
Sounds right, I tried whistling it into Sound Hound but that NEVER works.
YIPE
Underside of a horseshoe crap was inspiration for this I hear
Hannah
That bullshit looks like a horseshoe crab and I’m having none of it
Elizabeth
Jinx
Hannah
Haha yes indeed
Elizabeth
Everybody shoutin down the woman
Kathryn
Wonder what happened to the science officer that Ash replaced.
Elizabeth
Nothing good I expect
Kathryn
If you listen to the Swindled episode about the Challenger disaster it will make you REALLY NERVOUS about all the things that can go wrong on a spaceship.
Hannah
All kinds of spaceship model porn. I’ll allow it.
oh dear oh dear oh dear oh dear
Kathryn
Horrible dream about smothering…
Heeeere we go
Elizabeth
I was going to say “oh if only they’d skipped that meal” but…that might’ve been worse…
Heeeere we go
aAAAAAA
Kathryn
Jeeeesus that NEVER gets easier to watch
Hannah
Why is there ALWAYS an evil skeptic
Elizabeth
I just realized, pretty stupid cruel of the creature to let the host wake up and walk around for a bit before killing it.
Kathryn
Quite
Hannah
What if it just needed that last snack…
Elizabeth
Eeee, hadn’t thought of that…
Kathryn
Of course Ash gives the tracker a scary noise
Elizabeth
Evil scientist, whatcha gonna do
Kathryn
Hee. Cat being a cat.
Hannah
KITTEN
Kathryn
Jones is such a great name for a cat.
Hannah
WHY DOES YOUR SPACESHIP HAVE A HEARTBEAT
Kathryn
Cat is like NOPE
Elizabeth
Also if you have chains hanging all over the place your ship might be evil.
Kathryn
This is certainly an inspiration for Hellraiser here
Elizabeth
YIPE AGAIN
Hannah
Where else do I know Tom Skerrit from and why is he such a hottie
Nathan
Ever watch Picket Fences?
That’s the main thing I remember him from besides this.
He also had a role in Contact.
Kathryn
Ripley’s being pretty good at not saying I Told You So. Like a LOT.
Elizabeth
Seriously
IMDB says he was on an episode of West Wing in 2003, “Constituency of One”
Hannah
After my time
Elizabeth
I’ve seen those later episodes once.
Hannah
What if Mother and Hal had a baby…
Elizabeth
Heh
Kathryn
I’m afraid I can’t do that, Dave.
Hannah
Haha
Picket Fences may be right? I never watched but I knew of it
Elizabeth
Six episodes of Cheers, weirdly enough
Kathryn
My first order when commissioning a space ship: no evil looking irising doors.
Nathan
Oh, yeah! He played Rebecca’s boss a few times.
TURN OFF THAT DAMN BEEPING!
Kathryn
Jeez, all that other woman does in this role is panic and cry.
Elizabeth
Always gotta be at least one in every horror flick
Hannah
She’s bugging the fuck out of me
Like as a human in a crisis
Also she looks like Shelly Duvall
Kathryn
NO SPLITTING UP
Elizabeth
Oh, I guess only him and the captain had access to Mother before?
Nathan
Looks like it.
Elizabeth
“Crew Expendable” And there it is
Hannah
Yikes indeed
Nathan
And that was the closest she comes to losing it in all these films.
Hannah
I am enjoying watching movies on the regular. I’m seeing so many influences upon influences
Elizabeth
Yes!
AAAAAAAAAAA
Hannah
WELP I FORGOT ABOUT THAT
Kathryn
THAT FREAKED ME OUT MORE THAN THE CHESTBURSTER.
Elizabeth
Other movies wouldn’t be able to drag in a robot in the last quarter, but it totally works here.
Hannah
I knew something about a robot and white blood but I had always melded it with the chest bursting stuff
Kathryn
The enemy that’s been hiding in plain sight is scarier than the damn monster.
Elizabeth
“Its structural perfection is only matched by its hostility.”
Kathryn
Poetry there.
KITTY
Hannah
WOMAN IN A HORROR MOVIE USING A HAIR TIE YES PLEASE
Elizabeth
hahahah
Kathryn
God this is just like grabbing the CO2 scrubbers in Event Horizon
Elizabeth
Disney owns Alien now, she’s officially the baddest Disney Princess there ever was.
Nathan
John Wick and his dog, Ellen Ripley and her cat.
Kathryn
Priorities, I agree with them.
Hannah
I have never know a cat I would expect to come anywhere near anything in a time of crisis
Elizabeth
Oh no here we go again…
I was going to say “the quiet is worst than the screaming” but…it’s really not
Kathryn
I really appreciate when they make the self-destruct COMPLICATED
You don’t want someone to throw the switch on a whim.
Hannah
“You can’t leave… she won’t let you…”
Kathryn
Lordy I remember that alarm sound now.
Elizabeth
eeeeeeee
Kathryn
YOU FORGOT THE CAT, RIPLEY
Elizabeth
God the countdown..
Fuuuuuuuck
Nathan
You’d think overriding it would be a lot simpler than activating it.
Kathryn
!AAAAAAAAA!
I wonder if it’s a matter of energy building until there’s nowhere else it can go but boom.
Yes, grab the cat.
I do wonder if the creators of this had to argue about her taking the time to bring the cat.
Elizabeth
You woulda lost the audience if you’d left the cat behind, some things never change
Kathryn
Boy isn’t that the truth
Cool effect on the splosion
Elizabeth
LOTS of splosions
Cat’s all “…the fuck was THAT”
Kathryn
Good cat for not coming out of the box swinging.
Nathan
We have micro panties!
Elizabeth
Those look like they’d be so uncomfortable sitting that low
Kathryn
Agree, damn
Hannah
Lordy lady get you some pants that fit
Elizabeth
YIPE AGAIN
Kathryn
Is this kind of an Out Of Sight Out Of Mind for the alien?
Elizabeth
I thought maybe it was full?
Hannah
Ugh so much better, Mr. SCOTT
Elizabeth
Hee. It’s like a reverse strip tease. “PUT IT ON, PUT IT ON”
Kathryn
Wheeeeee
Elizabeth
We played this song in orchestra and I had no idea they’d used it here!
(Looks like Howard Hanson Symphony No 2, if Soundhound is to be trusted)
Kathryn
Man oh man
I’m not sure how they made a movie in the seventies and made it timeless
Hannah
“… some dumb people in that ship” mumbles Dad
Elizabeth
hahahaha
Kathryn
Hee
Elizabeth
YES INDEED
Nathan
Again, white people in a horror film!
Marian
Well I studiously avoided watching that movie when it was released and it still scared the s… out of me.
Elizabeth
Yes same here!
Kathryn
Me too!
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