While Blue Valentine may be an Oscar-nominated movie, it is a real life occurance for most of us geeks. We would all like to sit back and be told that it doesn’t really matter if you have a significant other or not on a day like Valentine’s. Frankly, it doesn’t help. Maybe, some honest truth will. If you are in a happy relationship, this article isn’t for you. Lonely people read on.
I’ve noticed that, as a generalization, geeks really have two romantic settings: super-duper in love or pining for a relationship. Obviously everyone likes being in the first group; you get all the butterflies and couch snuggle time. While being stuck in the later group, you find yourself wanting a relationship. That’s perfectly normal: we crave attention and human interaction as an instinct. The problem for us geeks is that the feeling of connection is usually pretty slim in the real world. As geeks, we spend a lot of time investing ourselves in other worlds and interactions that have little-to-no effect on the relationships around us. Most of the connections that we do make are via internet, which doesn’t bring the same warm fuzzies as a flesh-and-blood person would. The fact that we spend our energies toward that is not a “bad” choice; however it does leave us wanting when days like St. Valentine’s do come around.
I don’t want to sound depressing with this, but there are a lot of people that are going to be alone just like you. While this isn’t said to absolve you from feeling alone, it is said to make you aware of the true nature of your situation. You have one of two choices: 1) let this affect you to the core so that you feel terrible about yourself; or 2) make some positive experience out of it.
Here is my solution: there is a very good chance that all of the people playing your favorite video games on Valentine’s Day are alone too. So, instead of trash talking or being a jerk in the forums, try spreading a bit of love and good will. Take ownership of making the nerdy love in the world we want to see.