Binary System Watch Party – Tombstone

It’s the return of the Watch Party!

The Players: Elizabeth, Hannah, Kathryn, and Nathan. (With Mom chiming in through Hannah.) 

Elizabeth
All ready here!

Hannah
Here too!

Kathryn
Almost ready!
Stupid ads
Finally ready!

Hannah
Shall we go?

Kathryn
Yep, playing!

Hannah
Playing

Kathryn
I’ve obviously seen this recently (we had to select start over) How about everyone else?

Hannah
Never

Nathan
Robert Mitchum with the narration.

Hannah
Mom says sounds like him

Kathryn
We should preface this by saying that the real Wyatt Earp was not a nice person and this is a super Hollywood-ized interpretation of him.

Elizabeth
Been maaaaany years since I watched this

Hannah
That was pointed out on a NSTAAF episode I heard recently

Nathan
A wedding day to remember! 😄

Kathryn
A massacre at a wedding is a bold way to start a movie .

Hannah
Eep, bit of brown face here

Kathryn
So these would be the Bad Guys then.

Elizabeth
I caught maybe two words of the Spanish?

Hannah
Hahaha you picked up on the nuance
(The bad guys, not the Spanish)

Elizabeth
Lookin sharp Kurt!

Kathryn
And this would be The Good Guy

Hannah
One of them sasparillas, if you don’t mind

Nathan
This movie is very quotable.

Elizabeth
Yay Bill!

Kathryn
It’s Trixie from Deadwood!

Hannah
Look ma, I’m doing my own stunts

Kathryn
I like a gal that has the good drugs handy

Elizabeth
Laudinum foreshadowing?

Kathryn
It’s like you’ve seen a western before

Elizabeth
“Oh don’t worry I only use it for blah blah blah “

Kathryn
There’s Val!

Kathryn
He steals EVERY scene.

Elizabeth
Get im, Doc!

Kathryn
Took me until watching Deadwood to know that “Lunger” meant someone with TB.

Hannah
Taking the chips probably doesn’t help you elsewhere
Halloween decor! Spooky!

Kathryn
What’s the rating system for how period accurate the costumes are?

Hannah
Bill and Ted test

Elizabeth
This movie fits my friend Pattie’s definition of a quality movie: good lookin men, good lookin horses

Hannah
I saw a token Black sex worker. Shot for every Black person?
(Shoe polish doesn’t count)

Kathryn
Probably wouldn’t get too drunk from that unfortunately

Hannah
That’s fine, I don’t think Mom would play anyway….
Exxxxposition!
Kurt Russell so perdy

Kathryn
Dollar signs in Wyatt’s eyes
It’s Billy Bob!

Hannah
OH SHIT
IT IS

Nathan
No one cusses up a blue streak like Billy Bob Thornton.

Elizabeth
I didn’t recognize him right away but as soon as he started cussin

Kathryn
“You gonna do something or are you gonna stand there and bleed?”
SO BAD-ASS
Oop, and here comes Bob with the shotgun

Hannah
Bill Paxton?

Nathan
Yep!

Elizabeth
“You may go now” hee

Kathryn
LOVE how he dismisses him.

Hannah
That looked like Alfred Molina

Kathryn
Fair fight, otherwise know as “He had it coming.”

Elizabeth
ZANE!

Hannah
Oh god Billy Baddy back again

Kathryn
“I want one.” You go girl!
Nice theater. Maybe the Asolo could use whiskey handed out before the curtain rises?

Hannah
NO, BAD IDEA

Kathryn
Maybe just some spittoons then?
“I was wondering if you would…” “Not a prayer.”

Elizabeth
I hadn’t realized this song was that old, thought it was more modern

Hannah
That is modern hair
I do like Bill’s whole look here

Kathryn
Foreshadowing the near-death experience here

Elizabeth
Heh, Sam Elliot has been a middle aged cowboy for 35 years
“I know what I’m doing”

Kathryn
In walks temptation.

Nathan
Right on cue!

Kathryn
Damn Zane was young here.
The little fan boy was in 90210 wasn’t he?

Hannah
Is it just me or does Val look anemic

Nathan
There’s a reason for that…

Hannah
Ok I thought there might be

Elizabeth
“Should I hate him?” “You don’t even know him”

Kathryn
And now everyone starts throwing around…Latin?
Yep, Latin
Wonder how long Michael Behn had to practice that gun spinning.

Hannah
Nerp that’s not Batlet
Hahaha Bartlet
Nice color coordination

Kathryn
I want that black riding hat she’s got.

Hannah
I wonder where that was fine
Filmed STOP IT PHONE

Elizabeth
No way she’s actually riding side saddle right?

Kathryn
“I’m always happy. Unless I’m bored.” Ha ha, RUN WYATT, TOO MUCH WOMAN HERE.

Hannah
replied to Kathryn
Oh! That was Jason Priestley! (So yes)

Kathryn
THANK you, that was driving me buggy
Aw, Wyatt thinks he wants something OTHER than the actress, that’s cute.

Hannah
Nommm bedtime opium

Kathryn
Laudimum is pretty much opium in wine, right?

Elizabeth
I was JUST gonna ask, never really wondered what laudimum was

Hannah
(I thought he said opium when he came in)

Kathryn
He did, I wonder if the words are interchangeable

Hannah
Or definitely related
She puts the “yum” in “opiyum”

Kathryn
Now THIS would be opium

Hannah
Hahaha

Elizabeth
Wikipedia: Laudanum is a tincture of opium containing approximately 10% powdered opium by weight (the equivalent of 1% morphine).

Hannah
Good thing Alec Baldwin didn’t direct this…

Elizabeth
Hahahah oooooo

Kathryn
I would hope the armorer on this shoot was A LOT BETTER AT THEIR JOB

Hannah
Mom wants to know when he reloaded

Kathryn
DOWN GOES THE SHERIFF

Hannah
Kurt and his eyeliner mean business

Elizabeth
“Not before I make your head into a canoe…”

Kathryn
Wyatt being deadly is my second favorite part (first is anything with Doc.)
“I have two guns, one for each of you.”

Hannah
Aw, I want a midday game of pool and a pint of beer

Kathryn
Oh boy, somebody’s gonna talk about how they’re two days from retirement…

Elizabeth
“..when we’re finally set..” uh oh, that’s up there with “as soon as I WAS JUST TYPING THAT

Kathryn
Hee
Jinx

Hannah
I was about to say, “WHY DO PEOPLE LIVE HERE, ” but then I remembered…Florida

Kathryn
Sam Elliott tipping his hat is NUCLEAR levels of charm

Hannah
I like him so much as an actor but I lost so much respect when he criticized Jane Campion for making a cowboy movie when she’s not a cowboy

Elizabeth
Yeah i try not to look him up i feel I’d be real disappointed

Kathryn
Yeah, gatekeeping, ick.

Elizabeth
Also The Power of the Dog is super interesting, not what I expected at all

Hannah
I need to see it. (I love the Piano, and not just because of Sam Neill)

Kathryn
“I have not yet begun to defile myself.”

Hannah
…pimp?

Kathryn
“Let’s have a spelling contest!”

Nathan
Maybe had a different meaning back then?

Hannah
Shit I was hoping someone knew

Elizabeth
I thought it was just a slap at his intelligence

Hannah
Bartender needs better balance haha

Kathryn
DOWN goes Ike.

Elizabeth
Get im Wyatt!

Kathryn
“Your nightlife.” No sex, Doc.

Hannah
Mmm consumption cigarette

Kathryn
Little appearances of the Suffragettes

Hannah
The mustache game in this movie is 🏍

Kathryn
Wait, is that a motorcycle?

Hannah
WELL THERE’S NOT A HANDLEBARS EMOJI IS THERE

Kathryn
AHAHAHAHA

Elizabeth
DAMNIT kid

Kathryn
God that synchronized reach for the guns by all four of them is so intimidating.

Nathan
Double barreled shotgun only has two shells. Doc fired three.

Kathryn
Is that the second or third time Ike’s begged for mercy

Elizabeth
Well that could’ve gone better

Nathan
Ike is a waste of space.

Kathryn
“You’re a Daisy if ya do!”

Elizabeth
“I don’t think I’ll let you arrest us today…”
End of the first act?

Nathan
In most movies about this event, it would the last act.

Hannah
That long coat is fucking fire

Kathryn
“Ahm yer huckleberry.”

Elizabeth
HEE

Hannah
Hahaha just realized, this whole movie is a beer league hockey game
We are obviously the good guys, they are obviously the bad guys, violence is justified
Trash talk is encouraged

Kathryn
Well take your hat off when getting a shave, Doc, that’s just rude.

Hannah
DOGS PLAYING SNACKIES

Kathryn
ACK, gunning for the wimminfolk

Hannah
OMG “wimminfolk” 🤣

Elizabeth
Aahh crap

Kathryn
Wow, even pushed the cowboys too far with that.
Damn, shot Morgan in the back

Elizabeth
Cold

Hannah
Aw man you’re ruining the pool table!

Nathan
Ow!

Kathryn
Frontier medicine, hopefully they gave him a clean cloth to bite
Jeez..

Elizabeth
Raaaats

Kathryn
Kurt Russel just THROWING himself into this role

Nathan
Easily his best performance.

Hannah
I will give credit to the head Cowboy for being committed to being unlikeable

Elizabeth
No way someone doesn’t say something snarky

Kathryn
“Well…bye.”

Elizabeth
Aaand there we go

Hannah
…also he reminds me of my teammate Tom, who had a Yosemite Sam tattoo on his shoulder, so… there you go

Elizabeth
Heh

Kathryn
Why would you send Ike to do ANYTHING?

Nathan
Powers Boothe excelled at playing villains.
His Jim Jones was beyond creepy.

Hannah
I WOULD WATCH THAT

Kathryn
Would a spur really be sharp enough to cut somebody?
AND HELL’S COMING WITH ME

Nathan
replied to Hannah
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0080832/?ref_=ext_shr_lnk

Elizabeth
Guessing he’s giving Ike one chance too many

Nathan
FRONTIER JUSTICE!!

Kathryn
VIOLENCE, BLAM BLAM BLAM

Elizabeth
Val lookin good in black

Hannah
Honestly if it’s the stereotypical spinny type, I think the spin would mitigate cutting. But I think a real spur with that motion could… wow that took a long time to type

Kathryn
Ha!

Elizabeth
Slow motion “nooooooo” ftw

Kathryn
Anyone know what the difference is between revenge and a reckoning?
(Heh, sounds like a joke, but I honestly want to know.)

Elizabeth
Awww Zane

Kathryn
Aww, RIP pretty actor-man.

Elizabeth
Also just realized, rooker, playing the former bad guy, was Daryl’s brother in The Walking Dead

Kathryn
Oh no way!
Charlton Heston

Elizabeth
Heston!
Wow had no idea

Nathan
Forgot he was in this!

Kathryn
I ask this every time I see him, but has anyone gotten his gun yet?

Elizabeth
Heh
Every time I see him I see the bit part he did in Wayne’s World

Hannah
I think of In the Mouth of Madness

Kathryn
I feel like this challenge would be a trap, but I’m no US Marshall

Hannah
(Mom has demonstrated to me that spinny spurs are still a thing in Western riding)

Elizabeth
Huh, don’t they mark up the horses?

Hannah
That’s not a problem unless you’re showing? It might be more for actual working horses and especially if they’re still being broken

Kathryn
I don’t see how Doc got here before Wyatt but I DON’T CARE
So menacing, both of them.

Elizabeth
“I was just foolin about” “I wasn’t”

Hannah
Doc don’t throw your cigarette, those leaves will GO UP

Kathryn
“You’re no daisy at all.”

Elizabeth
Yay Doc!
BLAM BLAM YEEHAW

Kathryn
BLAM BLAM MORE FRONTIER JUSTICE

Hannah
That must have been fun as hell to film

Elizabeth
Shout out to the stunt folks!

Kathryn
What you’re just letting Ike go?!

Elizabeth
I was JUST gonna say

Nathan
The real Ike Clanton survived, too. Hard to believe.

Kathryn
Little head shake from the priest, sums it all up.
“I’m dying. How are you?”

Elizabeth
Man the way he’s modified his voice is something

Kathryn
“There’s no normal life, Wyatt. There’s just life.” Words to live by.

Elizabeth
Awww

Kathryn
“This is funny,” apparently really were his last words. He always thought he’d get killed long before TB could get him.

Elizabeth
Oh man

Hannah
CELEBRATORY WALTZ

Kathryn
“My family’s rich.” Hot damn, Wyatt wins again.
So Ike couldn’t even get killed by a main character. Fitting.
Wheee. That movie is so fun.

Elizabeth
Yay, that was a hoot

Kathryn
Definitely my favorite role for Elliot, Russell, and Kilmer.
(Favorite Paxton role is still Aliens.)

Nathan
Kurt Russell’s mustache was on point!

Wyatt Earp portrait

Hannah
Hot damn, yeah it was