Directed by Keith Thomas and based on the Stephen King novel of the same name, Firestarter follows a couple who desperately try to hide their daughter, Charlie (Ryan Kiera Armstrong), from a shadowy federal agency that wants to harness her unprecedented gift for turning fire into a weapon of mass destruction. Her father (Zac Efron) taught her how to defuse her power, but as Charlie turns 11, the fire becomes harder and harder to control. When a mysterious operative finally finds the family, he tries to seize Charlie once and for all — but she has other plans.
For those who may not know I am obsessed with Stephen King stories especially when it comes to his horror stories. I love most of his books and I love adaptations of his work when they are done well. And after a three-year hiatus, Stephen King’s work returns to the big screen, beginning with a modern adaptation of Firestarter, one of the few King books that isn’t necessarily a horror film but an engaging sci-fi thriller.
And for those who are wondering, yes this film is also considered a remake because there was an original adaptation from 1984. It’s been a long time since I’ve seen it so I don’t remember if it was all that good or not so I can’t really do a comparison between these two. But I was open to seeing what this new adaptation could bring, especially when it was helmed by horror newcomer Keith Thomas who directed the underrated 2019 horror indie film, The Vigil.
That being said, I started to get concerned when there seemed to be zero marketing or hype around this film over the weeks and even days before its release, which is extremely odd given how Stephen King is a powerhouse name that can get a lot of attention when put out there. We only were given one official trailer and one music track and that’s it, there was nothing else. It made me wonder if this adaptation was going to be a blazing underrated gem or a smoldering forgettable flop. Unfortunately, it ended up being the latter.
This is probably one of the most forgettable and passionless Stephen King adaptations I have ever seen. And it does hurt to say that, because this film had huge potential yet it felt like the cinematic equivalent of fast food that wasn’t given an ounce of effort and went out as fast as it came in. But before I get into what makes this film a failure I do want to mention the good things that came out of this adaptation.
John Carpenter crafted an absolutely fantastic score for this film that had energy and intensity that would have worked perfectly for a sci-fi thriller like this. Given that he was initially supposed to direct the original adaptation it was great to see him at least contribute something very positive for this remake and I do highly recommend giving the soundtrack a listen.
Ryan Kiera Armstrong and Zac Efron as the leading father and daughter duo were great together and both did feel like they were actually trying in their performances, making them stand out among a largely meaningless cast of characters. The effects are also really good, with a number of very convincing fire effects and gore that felt like a perfect blend of practical and digital. But that’s where the positives end, because every other element of the film falls flat hard.
As mentioned before, the characters are largely forgettable as most of them are written as walking talking cliches with zero personality and are given lackluster performances by their respective actors/actresses, with the exception of Armstrong and Efron. No one felt like they were even trying and some of the dialogue feels a bit off at times, as if this was their first take with no retakes after.
But that issue pales in comparison to the biggest issues this film suffers from which are the pacing and writing. This film felt extremely quick as it does nothing to give us any suspenseful build-up or development for the characters and instead just jumps around from place to place, getting us directly into the “thrills” aspect of the film, yet I never felt impacted by any of it.
We never get a well-crafted explanation of what’s going on nor any intriguing mystery, but instead get random snippets of exposition here and there that are supposedly meant to tell us what’s going on but just come out as confusing. Important information gets glossed over so quickly that it never makes an impact, it felt like the film was just rushing to get to the parts where the titular Firestarter in question goes on a killing spree.
The supernatural abilities are also not given any detailed explanation of how they work and instead are covered in a very brief title sequence and once again brief random drops of exposition that act like we already know how it works. Did the filmmakers assume viewers read the book or watched the original film so that they wouldn’t need to explain anything? Because that’s exactly how it feels and it pisses me off, especially when very important story arcs from the book that are meant to lead to an ultimate culmination are either completely absent in this adaptation or glossed over so fast that it never makes any sort of impact, emotionally or thrillingly.
I felt absolutely nothing watching this film and that’s the worst thing you can do, especially with a Stephen King adaptation. And because it all goes so fast it makes it hard to remember any crucial details or big moments that stood out because we never get any time to slow down and develop something of worth.
I’ve seen a lot of bad Stephen King adaptations but the one thing I can give to some of them is that they were never forgettable, even when they were awful. Some of them are even enjoyable because they are bad but this is not one of those cases. There was no effort put into the narrative and there was certainly no effort put into the film’s technical elements either, with the exception of the effects.
The film looks and feels bland and boring, with no effort into making it visually appealing or eventful. Some of the camera work is ok but then other times the camera work combined with messy editing feels completely lazy as if it was made by an amateur. I’ve seen independent films with better technical work than this. Hell, the last film this director made was superior compared to this, and that had a way smaller budget. What happened here? What caused a film with this much potential to become this big of a misfire? Is this why the studio chose not to market it because it was that terribly made? If that was the case why even release it in the first place if it was poorly put together like this.
I feel really bad for Ryan Armstrong, Zac Efron, and especially John Carpenter for being attached to this smoldering disaster because they truly deserved better as they felt like the only ones who put forth any effort for this. If you are planning to watch this film just for them that is totally ok, but other than that it is not worth your time or money. It’s destined to be another forgotten remake in the next few years. I’m going to give Firestarter (2022) a D- = 60.
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