Top 5 Reasons the Xbox 360 Sucks

On my last list, I took out my wrath on the sweet little unsuspecting Wii. Now I am setting my sights on bigger prey. Microsoft‘s XBox 360 has been a huge hit this generation, and millions of people have picked it as their console of choice. But I am not here to sit at the throne of Bill Gates and march into battle under Major Nelson. Instead, here are my Top 5 Reasons the XBox 360 Sucks. Enjoy.

5)You have to pay for Live

Sure it might not seem like that big a deal to spend fifty dollars for the entire year on XBox Live, until you remember that both its competitors offer their online services for free. Now I’m no rocket scientist, but I’m pretty sure free is cheaper than fifty dollars. I really enjoy having fifty dollars I could spend on something else. Like maybe a video game. Or a pony.  I hear you can find them cheap on eBay…..

4)No Blu Ray

When the dust settled on the viewing war for this generation, the Blu-Ray came out on top, driving the HD-DVD into non-existence. Many families now play Blu-Rays on their TVs, using Blu-Ray players and their PS3s. Some even play them on their laptops. You know what they don’t play on their media devices? HD-DVDs. Because they are dead technology.  Has Microsoft gotten over its failed backing of the HD-DVD format? Has it given in and realized, “Hey gamers like to enjoy all of their media on one system, maybe we should add one of those Blu-Ray thingies!” It would seem logical right? But, no, Microsoft execs just want to sit back and count their money, only peering down to give us whithering looks of derision and contempt as we plead for some HD movies.

3)The people on XBox Live

XBox Live sounds like such a great idea.  A community of fellow gamers who obviously enjoy the same games as you in a place where the best of friends can meet and share their joy for gaming with others. Until you do absolutely anything during a multi-player match. Move towards your right, and a twelve year old is spewing homophobic wrath. Shoot someone down, and a racist rant will ensue. Stand in one place, touch your toes, win, lose, cry, die, run in circles, it really doesn’t matter. You are a noob and should never be allowed around a controller.

2)Durability

So you have turned on your XBox 360 and sit down to enjoy a good old-fashioned verbal beat down on XBox Live. Grinning, you prepare yourself for your favorite masochistic hobby. However, something has gone terribly wrong. Instead of the welcoming green lights you were expecting, a jarring display greats your eyes. You cry out, “No, I was so careful!” as you rush to turn it off in the hopes that, if you do it quick enough, it will all go away. But alas, no such luck. You just experienced the red ring of death. Don’t worry though: you are not alone.

1)Laser Burn

You see the picture above? That is what happens to your disc if you move your system while the game is playing. It will render your game unplayable. That’s just not right.

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