Recently, an adoptive father has gone to the media expressing outrage over Valve’s decision to mock adoptees in their immensely popular game, Portal 2. While the media report on the issue is rife with numerous issues, as mentioned earlier on this site, what got me the most is that it wasn’t an adoptee that was pissed, but the adoptive father speaking about his own discomfort.
Well, I am adopted. And I just have one question to ask, umadbro? [P.S. Small spoilers ahead]
Don’t let that “horrible person” thing discourage you. It’s just a data point. If it makes you feel any better, science has now validated your birth mother’s decision to abandon you on a doorstep.
Do you know what that quote sounds like? It sounds like it’s coming from someone that is pretty pissed. Someone that felt a terrible injustice happened to them and are now hell-bent on making the person pay for their actions. It’s a bitchy statement. It’s a mean statement. It sounds like it came from someone that you don’t really want to be friends with. In fact, it sounds like your enemy would say something like that.
Such a statement makes me angry. My initial thought was, “you fucking bitch,” to be more specific. But isn’t that the point of the statement? GLaDOS is not trying to befriend you, she’s trying to make you suffer. If you can’t hurt someone physically (not without a lack of trying on her part), what do you do? You hit them where it counts. Insecurities. Doubts. Fears. It’s emotional abuse, and that has not been the first time I’ve heard someone say something like that. Nor will it be the last.
Portal is a dark comedy. The type of humor utilized in the game is meant to disturb you, to make you feel uncomfortable. I appreciate humor like that. It’s part of the reason I fell in love with the original game and why I couldn’t wait to get my hands on the sequel. But it is true, when I heard that above quote, I didn’t laugh. It honestly, truly hurt. It cuts to a core that a lot of adoptees have.
But, I wasn’t offended. I wasn’t enraged that my nemesis decided to sink that low to hurt me. I didn’t feel singled out for being adopted. In fact, I felt the opposite. I felt understood.
Adoption is wrapped up in a lot of politics, that much can be understood by the masses. A lot of people bring in their own ideologies and realities into how they view adoption, and everyone is entitled to their own perception of what adoption is like. Adoption is contextual and wrapped up in issues of race, socioeconomic status, religion and sexual orientation. A lot of great things have happened because of adoption. And a lot of awful things have happened because of adoption.
What gets me the most is that GLaDOS is sharing an example of adoption that shows its darker side. The immense and sometimes crippling insecurities and feelings of worthlessness that adoptees do experience. The adoptive father in the news segment is angry because it’s expressing a side of adoption that many don’t want to face, because it’s extremely uncomfortable. But I’ve had the exact thoughts GLaDOS expressed. I thought about them long before I heard anyone else say them to me. I’ve heard my adoptive sister say it in immense sadness; my adoptive friends say it when feeling abandoned. We* all think it at one point or another. We just don’t like to tell people about it.
I stated earlier that I felt understood when GLaDOS said that line. I felt understood because it was expressing a deep, dark thought I’ve had for as long as I can remember about my adoption. That massive insecurity about the why. Why did my mother choose to relinquish her child? When we can’t understand why others have left us, we often feel that it was something we did. Many adoptees blame themselves for their adoption. I mean, my adoption wouldn’t have happened if I wasn’t there, right? That aforementioned quote knows that. And it causes me relief to know that somewhere on the Valve team, someone else knows that and acknowledges it. I wouldn’t be surprised if they were adopted themselves.
For the record, you ARE adopted and that’s TERRIBLE.
You’re right. It is terrible sometimes. I hate it. But I much rather feel understood and have someone actually acknowledge the more difficult aspects of adoption than be enraged and attempt to censor it all over again.
I commend Valve for making this a story point in Portal 2. How many times can an adoptee say they’ve played a character that is truly like them? That might even feel like them? I felt more associated and invested into the game and, in the end, isn’t that what players want? Sure, I probably didn’t laugh with the adoption jokes as much as others might have, but I appreciated the fact that Valve thought it was something important to the character. Adoption has certainly been something important to me for about the past quarter of a century.
So keep it coming, Valve. Keep “saying what we’re all thinking” far into the future.
*I, in no way, am saying that every single adoptee on the planet Earth has experienced these feelings. I am speaking from my own personal experiences and that of other adoptees that I have spoken to. As with all other populations, no one person can speak for the whole. If you are interested in issues of adoption and the impacts on adoptees, I would greatly encourage you to do some research in psychological, sociological and social work journals.