I’ve spent a lot of time around the Frag Dolls and their supporters, a very intelligent and though-provoking group. And as I idled in IRC before beginning Duke Nukem Forever for myself, I noticed a recurring theme in their discussions of it: the blatant sexism, the “rape monster,” as one put it, and other elements of the game that could overall create a gameplay experience that would make many females uncomfortable.
Unlike many game reviews, I’m certain that this review isn’t going to inspire anyone to go out and buy DNF. But that isn’t my goal; instead, I want to inspire thought and discussion around it, and around other games related to sensitive subjects.
Story
I really hesitated to even assess the “storyline” of Duke Nukem Forever. It’s got a story in the same way that Team Fortress 2 does: there are colorful characters, pithy one-liners, and no shortage of things that can explode…none of which constitutes a storyline. In the end, though, the game has distinctive chapters and narrative interludes – yet no option to turn on subtitles for the dialogue. An oversight that smacks of disregard for any actual narrative in favor of cheap tactics like wall tits, rape monsters, and other awkwardly sexual imagery. In all, the storyline can be summed up with a series of connotations intended to draw attention to gender – and I’m not even talking about the scantily-clad twin sisters kissing each other on the lips right before the first alien attack.
No, DNF somehow manages to push it further than the normal sexism we’ve come to expect from the franchise. I, at least, expected the skimpy schoolgirl outfits on animated girls who looked barely 18 years old. I was not caught off guard at the entire chapter that took place in a strip club, culminating in a lap dance from a stripper expressing her gratitude at your fetching her a condom, a vibrator, and a bag of popcorn. I was not offended by the lack of a single strong female character.
In fact, I would go so far as to say that I was not personally offended by very much in the game. But I’d be lying if I said a few elements of gameplay didn’t make me downright uncomfortable.
Gameplay
Putting gender-spurred discomfort aside for now, Duke Nukem Forever had some truly painful mechanics. A brief challenge only about one-third of the way through the campaign involved knocking a battery off a shelf using an RC car. After several attempts with the clunky and counter-intuitive steering mechanism, I began to question why Gearbox had included this tidbit – why not simply have me pick the battery up off the ground? Which led to a whole can of worms I didn’t want to open – why not skip the whole scene? Why not skip the whole damn game?
After I struggled with my conscience a bit more and finally let the shoulder-angel tell me that I couldn’t in all honesty post a review without completing the game, I began to at least feel grateful that the RC car sequence was over and done with. My relief was unfortunately short-lived, as I soon discovered countless more driving sequences, each incorporating the necessity for Duke to get into and out of the car multiple times. This is noteworthy because of the aggravating fact that Duke insists on exiting the vehicle and immediately doing a one-eighty – leaving you face away from the aliens you got out of the car to shoot.
And now for the fun part – fun here having the meaning of “making me feel incredibly conscious of my gender”: wall tits. Seriously. As in, clusters of tits (three per cluster, to be exact) that, when approached, prompt you to slap them. Clusters of tits that lactate when you slap them. And here’s the kicker: one of the “gameplay tips” shown during loading screens politely offers up the wall tits for smacking, because “real girls don’t like it when you smack theirs.”
If it was just wall tits thrown into an otherwise good game, I’d have no gripe. But it’s also the vagina doors (circular doors that don’t open until you tickle them, with an accompanying “coochie-coochie-coo” from Duke), and the rape monster, and several other references to female genitalia ranging from subtle to blatant strewn amongst a game that simply isn’t fun to begin with.
Almost as if Gearbox acknowledged that they had been handed a terrible game and attempted to salvage it with smatterings of female body parts sure to attract a crowd of pre-pubescent males who hadn’t yet seen the real thing.
Graphics
If I were the developer of a game whose only selling point was that it contained partial nudity, I’d at least try to make sure that nudity was crystal-clear. But I guess Gearbox and 3D Realms had a different idea.
Duke Nukem Forever was only playable on my PC with the graphics settings turned all the way down. And even then, there were still stutters and graphical glitches at some parts.
I’m not asking for realistic graphics; part of Duke’s charm is his outlandish and (sometimes physically) cartoony nature. But the lengthy loading screens warrant a caliber of graphics far beyond what was actually delivered.
Audio
What is there to say? Jon St. John performed with his usual gusto, despite the embarrassment he surely felt at having been a part of this game. There is absolutely nothing else noteworthy about the soundtrack, aside from the churning and repetitive loading screen music that gets stuck in your head simply because the loading screens are far longer than what should be needed considering Duke Nukem Forever’s graphics.
Overall
I think I originally intended this review to be a scathing commentary on the misogyny of Duke Nukem Forever, citing multiple instances where I was offended as a woman, and touting my feminist-leaning viewpoints. But then I realized I didn’t dislike the game because it was offensive; I didn’t like it because it wasn’t fun.
As much as I love controversial arguments, there’s been enough media sensationalism surrounding the franchise of late, and one more journalist’s (albeit delayed) commentary just doesn’t matter. Duke Nukem Forever was a let down.